Tag: salman khan

Categories
Event

‘Being Human’ at school’s dramatics event

The Worli based DY Patil International School’s annual Dramatics competition drew members of actor Salman Khan’s family and other celebs.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

Two days ago, DY Patil International School, Worli, held their Annual Inter-house Dramatics Competition at the YB Chavan Auditorium near Mantralaya. Film actor Salman Khan’s ‘Being Human’ charitable trust associated with the event, the theme of which was ‘Being human’.

From L-R) Sohail Khan and Vatsal Sheth with student at DY Patil International School Annual show Being HumanThe show was held as a part of the middle, secondary and high school annual show.

Over 100 students from four houses, Red, Yellow, Green and Blue, of the school participated in the competition. Salman’s brother Sohail Khan and actor Vatsal Sheth judged the performances. The exciting dramas were performed by the children with the support of digital sound, display and special effects.

Other celebrities to attend were Atul and Alvira Agnihotri, as did the school’s Principal Dr Meena Mahadevan, DY Patil International Schools Head Farzana Dohadwala, parents and other invitees.

Categories
Whatay!

What we learnt from ‘Koffee With Karan’

Some major learnings, none of them pleasant. Here’s a list of 5 top reasons we’re ditching this show’s next season.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

We all love a good dose of gossip, especially about celebrities. And what could be better than celebrities bitching about other celebrities? On the face of it, Karan Johar has a good formula on his hands – he invites the biggest names from the Hindi film industry to the show, he sometimes asks them about their love lives point blank, he laughs at himself and is generally a friendly presence.

And yet…Koffee With Karan Season 4 was an extremely shallow, bordering-on-pathetic attempt to make our desi stars appear more glamorous and more intelligent than they already are (not). If Karan was hoping to make a better impression this time around and lay the groundwork for the show’s next instalment, we are sorry to say that this season has been terrible, and during the father and daughter Kapoor’s last episode, we nearly stabbed ourselves in the eyes with a blunt pencil.

If this show comes up with Season 5, and it will, we are going on vacation and coming back only when the show’s over. Here’s why:

1. Karan Johar is homophobic.

We don’t know about you, but Karan gave us a headache in every single episode with his ‘At gunpoint, if you had to have a gay encounter…’ question. At gun point? What’s so gun point about having a gay encounter? Then he thought it was very funny that Aditya Roy Kapur ‘admitted’ to a gay relationship with Ranbir Kapoor. What’s more, the question and the resulting giggles indicated that Karan, and his guests, wanted us to think that everybody in the room was straight.

Next time, Karan, if you must start a question with ‘At gun point…’, consider these endings:

– Which of my films would you watch on loop for a week?

– Tell me, what do you really think of the coffee hamper?

– Tell me, why does nobody remember the name of the dog in Hum Aapke Hain Koun?

2. The dumbest guests always make it to the show.

Sonam KapoorA case in point is Sonam Kapoor, who took top spot this season from such worthies as Alia Bhatt (“My GK is bad!”) and Anushka Sharma, whose only response to any question about Virat Kohli was a giggly “Shut up, Karan!” Not only were Sonam’s views on ‘art films’ and ‘not good-looking people are not necessarily good actors’ astonishing beyond anything else we’ve heard this year, she kept peppering each sentence with the word ‘like’. Like, every four words, she would say ‘like’.

And then, like, she said, “Robert deNiro!” to the question, ‘Who said, ‘An eye for an eye makes the world blind?’ Like, really, Sonam. Did you leave your brains in your other fashionista suit?

3. Karan invites very boring guests with nothing to say.Salman Khan

For all its so-called ‘fun and candid’ quotient, our celebrities are remarkably boring on the show. Most of the guests this season made us yawn with their responses to questions – we’re not saying the likes of Aamir Khan and Madhuri Dixit are boring people, they probably get like that for Karan. The only exception to this parade of yawn-worthy guests was Salman Khan, who was merely an ass. What’s more, the show does not invite anyone outside of Mr Johar’s immediate clique – why not invite Kangana Ranaut, Richa Chadha, Huma Quraishi, Randeep Hooda, to name a few? Maybe they’re too intelligent for this show.

4. The coffee hamper is getting increasingly tacky.

What was that thing, really? We swear that picnic basket thingy is so tacky, if it met Sonam Kapoor in a dark alley, she would first have hysterics and then comment on how ‘not good looking hampers are not necessarily good hampers’.

And why do Karan’s guests pretend to fall all over themselves for the chance to win it? More to the point, what is in it? Why are the contents so secret? We’re dying to get our hands on the hamper, so that we can set fire to it.

 

5. This show is a cesspool of lies.

So. Many. Lies. On. One. Show. Either these people really believe their own deluded statements or they think viewers are nuts. The following is just a small list:

What they said What they meant
“I never read gossip magazines or papers.” I gloat over gossip written about others.
“We’ve never been friends, but we’ve always been cordial to each other when we meet.” Except for the times when I look through her/him, which is always.
“I don’t have any enemies in the industry.” Only frenemies, because I’m a bitch that way.
“I’m not insecure. There’s place for everyone.” I will do whatever it takes to sabotage my rivals’ projects.
“He’s never given me a reason to not trust him. We love each other too much to cheat.” So what if I caught him 12768 times? At the end of the day, he always comes back to me, like a homing pigeon.
“Finally winning this hamper is a monkey off my back.” Only a monkey on crack would actually want to win that thing.
“I didn’t marry a hero because I was not interested.” Also because the hero I was seeing then suddenly got himself arrested. What a bummer.

 

(Pictures courtesy www.india-forums.com, www.in.com, www.indiatimes.com, idiva.com) 

What did you think of Koffee With Karan, Season 4? Tell us in the comments section below.

Categories
Cinema@100

When Dharam paaji changed clothes on the roads

Up to the 1980s, Indian film stars would change in makeup rooms or people’s homes or even in secluded woods. Vanity vans didn’t exist till the late 1980s.
by Jatin Sharma

Vanity vans are an essential part of film stars’ lives today. Why just film stars, even starlets shooting for music videos or ads get their own vanity van these days, depending on the production house and its budget.

Shahrukh Khan’s vanity van costs almost the same as the budget for a small movie: a whopping Rs 3.5 crore. It has all the facilities that a little house can provide: an air conditioner, a refrigerator, an oven, a master bedroom, massage seats, and many more that one could never imagine were fitted inside what is, essentially, a vehicle.

Salman Khan’s vanity van took about seven months to be designed and finished as it had to be customised for the Khan. His van even has a ramp that allows his car to get in and out.

manmohan desaiThough you’d think that vanity vans have been around forever – after all, how would one dress and put on makeup and rest in between shots, if not for a vanity van – you would be suprised to know that yesteryear megastars like Rajesh Khanna, Madhubala, Dev Anand, Raj Kapoor, Hema Malini, Dharmendra and Amitabh Bachchan spent most of their careers without a vanity van. In fact, the first vanity van came to Bollywood in the late 1980s when Manmohan Desai (in pic on left) gifted one to Amitabh Bachchan.

This information was shared by the ever-charming Dharam paaji when I interviewed him during the promotions of Yamla Pagla Deewana, in which he starred with his sons Sunny and Bobby. Dharam paaji revealed lot of things about the Hindi film industry, and one of them was interesting story about what stars and indeed, all actors, did before vanity vans became the norm in Bollywood.

I asked him, “How did the stars manage before vanity vans?”

He replied, “Whenever the shooting was in the studio, we would share makeup rooms. We would get an individual makeup room if we were that important. And whenever we used to go to shoot outdoors, we would ask the production people to form a circle and change our clothes on the roads or behind the trees, sometimes.”

In the case of female actors, he said, the story was even more interesting. “They would go to people’s houses in the vicinity of the shoot. And if the location was not closer to the shoot, then a four-pole tribal tent would be erected, where the actress could change. Five or six dharmendraproduction people would provide security for her.”

He added that makeup would be done on the road or in the production bus, whose actual purpose was to shift the film equipment and crew from spot to spot.

“It was Manmohan Desai, the director and producer who was a visionary. He got the first vanity van for himself as he had a back pain. (In it, he is learnt to have fit a bed, a television set and even a mirror to watch the TV even with his back to it!) And later he got the first vanity van for his star Amitabh Bachchan. All the other stars of Indian cinema then got exposed to the luxury of a vanity van, and realised they could enjoy some privacy if they had a vanity van of their own. Now, of course, everybody has one.”

(Pictures courtesy pawanpipalwa.blogspot.com, www.gomolo.com, www.funrahi.com)

Categories
M

Naach na jaane

Most Bollywood actors can’t dance. Meanwhile, the girls are dancing their way into roles that require little else from them.
by M | M@themetrognome.in

Bollywood is synonymous with naach gaana. It is what defines Hindi cinema, and when done in foreign locales with local residents gaping in astonishment, it truly embarrasses us (the audience, not the filmmakers). In recent times, the gaana bit (read ‘lyrics’) has been reduced to a mockery, with popular numbers having words like ‘Po, Po’ (pronounced ‘Paw, Paw’) in them. Meanwhile, the naach hasn’t been doing too well, either.

Choreographer Remo D’Souza’s upcoming flim ABCD promises some good dance moves, at least in the trailers. Which makes me wonder: in a country of dancers, why has it taken so long for anyone to make a good dance film?

If Judson Laipply (of the The Evolution of Dance stand up act) were to do a piece on Bollywood dance, it would be called the Degradation of Bollywood Dance. And why not? In this particular sphere, comedians around the world have so much material to choose from. From Salman’s inexplicable moves to Sanjay Dutt’s (supposed) pelvic thrusts, there’s enough and more to make one shut their eyes and never watch another Hindi film ever.

I was astounded at the dance steps assigned to a certain Ms Sharma in her last release, Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola, which required a vigorous butt jiggle. I was even more astounded when the same steps were re-assigned to Pankaj Kapur. Anybody else in his place, veteran actor or not, would have been reduced to a caricature of himself with that dance, but to his credit, he can dance.

Which brings me to the many actors in the industry who hate to dance. I understand that they hate it, what I don’t get is that they make no effort to learn dancing while being in a profession that requires them to move their feet. Some specimens that belong to this category are Ajay Devgn, Himesh Reshamiya and Saif Ali Khan and more. This bunch was highly active last year, and there will be a reprise in the near future.

The other interesting category of actors are the once who could dance, once upon a time, but now can’t dance to save their lives. Some of them are now too beefy or too old to do anything more than a cursory hip shake. Salman Khan is the King of this club. It is painful to watch him dance these days. Equally painful to watch is Sanjubaba. He was no match for Madhuri in ‘Tamma Tamma’ (Thanedar), but he didn’t have two left feet back then. Salman in Dabangg  with his ridiculous moves involving the belt is beyond rubbish. His attempts to keep up with the lissom Katrina Kaif in Ek Tha Tiger were actually funny.

Fortunately, the actresses these days can shake a leg. Well, they have to, or they wouldn’t qualify for several roles if they didn’t know how to move that waist and look pretty while doing so. But I won’t lay blame only on the actors; choreographers need to work harder, too. Kareena Kapoor’s latest item number ‘Fevicol Se’ in Dabangg 2 was a disaster. Farah Khan is one of the few dance directors who has consistently delivered. Among the men, Prabhudeva is reliable. We’ll see him soon in ABCD. But can he save the last (good) dance for Bollywood?

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

(Picture courtesy fillum.com)

Categories
Film

May the best of the worst win

The Bollywood Razzies are here. In a year when Bollywood produced piles of rubbish, it’s tough to pick a winner.
by M | M@themetrognome.in

Have you heard of the The Ghanta and the Golden Kela? Before you call the moral police, let me clarify. These are the names of awards especially created for Bollywood. The Ghanta and Golden Kela Awards are the Indian counterparts of the Razzies (for Hollywood). Both the awards are independent and not related to each other. It doesn’t matter who gives them away or if the winners have the b**ls to collect them; what matters is that these awards symbolise the awakening of the janata and that Bollywood can no longer bullsh*t the audience without being b**chslapped in return.

The Ghanta Awards are in their third year and the Golden Kelas are a little older at five. Both are very popular on social media and they encourage users to vote online. 2012 was one of the most creatively-challenged years for Bollywood, hence there is plenty to trash this time. But before I cast my precious vote to elect the best of the worst, let’s review the various categories and nominees in each award.

Worst Actor 2012

Akshay Kumar is a clear winner with four straight flops: Housefull 2, Rowdy Rathore, Joker and Khiladi 786. Ajay Devgn comes a close second with Son of Sardaar and Bol Bachchan in both the Awards. Surprisingly, Salman Khan only features in The Ghanta Awards list for Ek Tha Tiger and Dabangg 2. Kat got your tongue, Golden Kela?

Worst Actress 2012

Sonakshi Sinha for Rowdy Rathore, Joker, Son of Sardaar and Dabangg 2; basically everything she did. Katrina Kaif, Deepika, Bipasha, Priyanka Chopra are the rest of the nominations. Everyone, except for Kareena Kapoor, has made it to the lists this year.

 

Worst Film 2012

Oh, this one is tough. There are just five options for the Ghantas and six for Golden Kelas in the worst films category, but they could very well expand their list to include more from the pile of garbage Bollywood produced last year. I like Golden Kela’s list better. They’ve got the crapfest full on with Housefull 2, Son of Sardaar, Khiladi 786, Dabangg 2, Jab Tak Hai Jaan and Joker. All these films were headache-inducting tortures that took away 80 minutes of the audience’s lives. The Ghantas have Student of the Year on its list, but I think the audience deserves a special award for having sat through this film and lived to tell the tale.

Worst Director 2012

Let’s give Shirish Kunder a lifetime pass for the Worst Director Award in both these awards, along with free home delivery. The Golden Kela has Arbaaz Khan vying for this spot for Dabangg 2. Maybe it’s time Arbaazbhai renounces the world and goes back to his planet. Whenever he does go, he should also take Vikram Bhatt (Raaz 3, Dangerous Ishq) along.

Worst Song 2012

Wikipedia should catalogue this into a series. Even this year, as always, Bollywood will make a generous contribution to this. A special volume should be dedicated to our nasal champion Himeshbhai. All the songs of Khiladi 786 have the magical quality of inducing violent behaviour, enough to start a prison riot. *chops own ears off*

Worst Sequel 2012

Jannat, Raaz, Jism, Housefull and Dabaang should jointly accept the award and officially STOP MAKING ANY MORE SEQUELS! The end has no end. The Dabaang prequel will haunt us soon. *shudder*

Both the awards have other unusual and interesting categories, such as:

Golden Kela Awards:

– Most Atrocious Lyric Awards. My pick is ‘Po Po Po’ from Son of Sardaar.

– Why Are You Still Trying Award – For people like Jackie Bhagnani. “Jackie, who?” you ask. Sigh, never mind.

– Baawra Ho Gaya Hai Kya Award – And the winner is, the Indian audience for spending money on a ride to hell and back with this slushpile.

and the Ghanta Awards:

– Worst Rip-Off/Remake – Barfi!

– Worst Couple – Abhishek Bachchan with anyone, even a log of wood.

– WTF Was That – That one time where you almost threw your shoes at the screen, then remembered you were wearing Osho chappals, so you just closed your eyes instead.

– That’s Anything But Sexy – Tough one again, but nothing can beat the awful dance steps in the ‘Cheeni’ song from Department. Unfortunately, it doesn’t feature on the list.

But are these awards really an eye-opener for for our filmmakers? Will they stop and think about the trash they are serving the audience? I don’t think so. Maybe we need some kind of penalty, where the audience is entitled to a refund for a bad film. This will surely make them behave themselves in future.

Voting for both the awards is now open. You can log on to http://theghantas.com/vote/login.php and  http://goldenkela.com/voting/vote.php

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

(Pictures courtesy galleryoneindia.in, wikimedia.org, hindi.way2movies.com)

Categories
M

Don’t judge a film by its promo

M writes about how film promos these days are different from the storyline, and tagged to the last Bollywood hit.

Once, in a fit of momentary madness, I decided to watch Aiyyaa on DTH. Suffice it to say that I should have been paid to watch that film, even if I did watch it at home.

Apart from being an utter and complete waste of time that I could have employed in other pursuits, I was annoyed at how the film kept drifting from the main plot every five minutes. But my disappointment was not with the film itself, or its actors. It was the way the film was promoted. The promos led me to believe that it was the story of a small town girl and her romantic escapades. Shots of two very sleazy songs in the film constantly reminded the audience of The Dirty Picture. With such a preamble, naturally the audience expected much more masala in the actual film. Instead, when you watch the film you realise that it is actually the innocent love story of an extroverted girl and a devil-may-care guy.

Marketing a film is as critical as the creative aspects of making one. The marketing peg can bring or take the audience away from the theatres. Unlike a brand, marketing a film is different. While launching a new product in the market, the brand custodians will work on solid background data and create campaigns around the footprints of their Target Audience (TA). But a film is assumed to work for the entire mass. Cinema, being a mass medium, garners interest across gender, ethnicity, age, etcl. But in Bollywood, it seems minimal efforts are spent on a film’s strategy and the sole objective is to play on the last successful film; in case of Aiyyaa it was The Dirty Picture.

There are many films that have gone wrong with their marketing, and many ‘brilliant’ ideas have also mercifully been rejected in the board rooms. One such spin-off attempt happened not very long ago. The film was a rundown romance spread across three generations, with all three pairs being played by the same lead actors. Clearly, there was nothing to go on in terms of the storyline, so the fallout plan was to create hype around the stars of the film.

So the usual gimmicky stories were prepared for release in the media – like the off-screen romance brewing between the actors, the petty fights on the sets, etc. But one of the film’s producers came up with a peculiar idea. The idea, according to him, was a two-edged sword – if implemented, it would promote the film and dilute Salman Khan’s fan following. The truth is that any producer who has not worked with Salman has tried, at least once in his life, to sabotage the actor’s staggering popularity by one means or another. So far, in vain.

So, the big idea was to play on the fact that the lead actor’s mother was of the Muslim faith. Hence, just before release, the actor would visit a famous shrine of a Muslim saint in the city and the same would be projected as the actor’s efforts towards reconciling with his Muslim mother – this would impress and sway the Muslim audiences towards this actor. Let me mention, as an aside, that Muslim audiences are seen as Salman’s key fan base.

But in reality, the lead actor of this film was a staunch follower of the Hindu spiritual guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. This idea had to be shot down by the other producers.

There are many recent films that have been presented differently in their promos than what the actual script is. Jism 2 and Ishaqzaade are two films that firmly fall under this category, but don’t go checking them out. With lack of good storylines, I suppose filmmakers must do whatever they can to get their films some attention; be it projecting a film untrue to its plot, adding tons of sleaze or even recreating celebrity personas that do not actually exist.

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

(Pictures courtesy www.ibnlive.com)

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