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10 bizarre lyrics we still haven’t understood

Bollywood churns out many foot-tapping songs, but some of these superhits have extremely puzzling lyrics. Which ones did you understand?

by Ravi Shet

We love some of the chart busters Hindi films give us. It seems that most films have become hits only by virtue of a catchy song.

But a recap of some of the 90s and beyond hit songs has us a little confused – what do some of these lyrics mean? Here is our list of 10 bizarre lyrics we still haven’t understood. Please enlighten us if you have cracked their meaning.

1. Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo (Mr & Mrs Khiladi, 1997, lyrics: Dev Kohli)

We suppose this is a roundabout way of pledging eternal love and fidelity. But if anyone compared our relationship to a deep fried snack, the other half would be made to eat aloo sabzi for a month. The full lyrics are ‘Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo, tera rahunga o meri Shalu…’ *insert deep sigh*

Hera pheri2. Main ladka po po po (Hera Pheri, 2000, lyrics: Sameer)

This song goes ‘Tu ladka po po po, hum dono milein po po po, ab aage hoga kya?’ Very good question, considering nobody knows what a ‘Po po po’ is.

3. Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar, hookah bar (Khiladi 786, 2012, lyrics: Himesh Reshammiya)

It is safe to say that Himessbhai was smoking something exciting (possibly in a hookah bar) when he wrote this song. Not happy with writing such mind-altering lyrics, he also sang the song for hero Akshay Kumar in trademark Himess style (read: very badly).

4. Main Laila Laila chillaunga, kurta phaad ke, (Anari No. 1, 1999, lyrics: Dev Kohli)

This song was ideal for Govinda-style dancing (which often falls in the ‘dhinkachika’ format). But what is the need for this unwarranted violence towards kurtas? Both the hero and heroine (Govinda and Raveena Tandon) threaten to phaad their kurtas after shouting the other’s name. Was this some 1990s mating ritual we missed?

5. Telephone dhun mein hasne wali (Hindustani, 1996, lyrics: PK Mishra)

These lyrics are pure gold. ‘Telephone dhun mein hasne wali, Melbourne machhali machalane wali, digital mein sur hai taraasha…’ We are sure there is someHindustani deep philosiphical meaning to this. At least, we hope so. Otherwise, this seems to be a case of writing to a 2-minute deadline.

6. Saree Ke Fall Sa (R…Rajkumar, 2013, lyrics: Mayur Puri)

‘Saree ke fall sa, kabhi match kiya re,

kabhi chhod diya dil, kabhi catch kiya re…’

Awesome. The only song ever to put tailors and cricketers in the same team. This song makes perfect sense…to nobody. Even tailors and cricketers.

7. Hai huku, hai huku (Gopi Kishan, 1994, lyrics: Sameer)

Watch your language, dude. Seriously, watch it. And then tell us what ‘Hai huku‘ means. The lyrics go, ‘Hai huku, hai huku, hai hai…yeh ladki mere saamne, kyun mera dil liye jaye jaye jaye…’ Is he complaining or what?

8. Mohabbat hai mirchi (Chura Liya Hai Tumne, 2003, lyrics: Jay Sharma)

The song that gave us Rakhi Sawant and heartburn at the same time, with lyrics that go, ‘Mohabbat hai mirchi sanam, uljhi uljhi tirchhi tirchhi mohabbat ki galiyan sanam…’ If this was post-2010, Himesh Reshammiya would have penned this song, and thrown in some other fruit and vegetables to make it more interesting.

Chhote sarkar9. Ek chumma tu mujhko udhaar dai de (Chhote Sarkar, 1996, lyrics: Rani Malik)

Govinda featured in this crapfest of a film, and true to form, danced to this gem with the lyrics, ‘Ek chumma tu mujhko udhaar dai de, aur badle mein UP Bihar lai le‘. This is unacceptable. UP and Bihar should protest.

10. Aa khushi se khudkushi kar le (Darling, 2007, lyrics: Sameer)

It is a little disturbing that lyricist Sameer has featured on this list four times. But this one is his best effort. The song goes, ‘Betaabiyaan bhi hai jawaan, mere jaaniyaan, mere ishq ka dil mein jeher bhar le, aa khushi se khudkushi kar le…’ We urge you to listen to this song if you ever feel suicidal. One of two things will happen: Either you will feel better about your life, because there are other things (like this song) crappier than your circumstances, or you will go out smiling – you know, khushi se.

Did we miss out any other lyrical gems? Do let us know in the comments below.

(Pictures courtesy bollywoodlaughs.wordpress.com, www.tribuneindia.com, article.wn.com, indianexpress.com)

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Film

Review: Gurukul

Langourous and tedious by turns, the Marathi film ‘Gurukul’ does not do justice to the plot with its slow pace.
by Ravi Shet

Rating: 2 out of 5

Written and directed by Rommel Rodrigues, Gurukul is a social drama that centres on ‘Gurukul’ an educational institution in a town named Ranjangaon. Its head, Nanasaheb Vishwanath Gokhale (Nagesh Bhosle), is fondly referred to as Guruji. The film starts with a party thrown for Ravi Thakur, one of Gurukul’s ex-students, who has won the CEO of the Year award. His friends Rishi and Rajeev also meet in the party along with their spouses. The three couples have been ex-students of Gurukul, and they plan to take some time out of their busy schedules to visit their college and Guruji.

During their road trip to Ranjangaon, they remember their good times at Gurukul and the film goes into flashback. The story starts from the day they enter the premises of Gurukul for the first time. One day, Rishi sees the news item of a Lavani show and plans to go with Ravi, Rajeev and another classmate. They cautiously leave from the hostel and reach the place; however they are not able to find the place where the show is happening; instead, the person guiding them takes them to bar where they play cards.

The bar is raided and everyone is arrested, however once Rishi and his friends say they are students of Gurukul, the police inspector takes them directly to Guruji. On hearing the incident, Guruji reacts in a very gentle manner towards the four students.

 

By the end of first half, these three couples are shown to graduate from Gurukul. It is in the second half of the movie, that the audiences realise that the existing Gurukul is different from the past one and also Guruji is no longer serving there due to local politician Girishbhau Velangekar (Vidyadhar Joshi) who has taken over Gurukul by fraudulent means.

Only the Lavani number sung by Asha Bhosale and the film’s plot can entice you into watching this film. The pace of the film is patchy and the first half is really boring. Watch at your own peril.

(Picture courtesy timesofindia.indiatimes.com)

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Eat

5 must-visit burger joints in Mumbai

Mumbai is spoilt for choice when it comes to burger options. We pick 5 little-known places for your eating pleasure.
by Ravi Shet

Burgers are awesome. Vegetarian or not, they are sumptuous and addictive. We went burger-hopping recently and came across 5  places in the city where you can munch scrumptious burgers.

Here is our list, in no particular order.

  1. Café Free India, Lower Parel

Veg Parmaggiano Burger_Cafe Free IndiaThis place has yellow and white walls with wooden chairs and tables, and is situated opposite Deepak Cinema. It was founded by Sachin Roche in May 2012. All their burgers have hand-made patties and are accompanied by fries. Their Veg Parmaggiano Burger (Rs 260) consisting of vegetarian fried patty topped with a tomato concasse and parmesan crust, Juicy Lucy Chicken (Rs 275) consisting of crumb fried patty filled with Swiss and cheddar cheese and Crunchy Cajun Chicken Burger (Rs 275) consisting of cornflakes-crusted chicken breast with a Cajun rub are worth trying out. Sachin says that all patties are hand-made and nothing is kept frozen so that customers can enjoy fresh patties. He also adds that he keeps on experimenting with the patties so that he can offer customers different options.

  1. Meltz Treatz, Kandivali (West)

Serving 100% vegetarian burgers from January 2015, this place is located at Mahavir Nagar, next to Sukh Sagar Restaurant and near D-Mart. Co-owned by Indian Spiced Oats & Moong Dal Burger_Meltz Treatzfranchise owners Nirmala Valavan, Jaya Bhalchandran, Parvati Vishwanthan and Mukund Sadrani, this place is open on all days from 12 pm to 11 pm serving customers vegetarian burgers in four different buns – Foccacia, Seeded Burger Buns, Multi-grain and Italian Herbs and cheese.

Their Curried Vegetable Burger (Rs 59) consists of veggies having flavours from northern part of India, Chick Peas and Spinach Burger (Rs 59) and Indian Spiced Oats and Moong Dal Burger (Rs 79) are my best picks for their taste and flavours. Nirmala says that the outlet was started to serve healthy burgers which are not easily available at most places.

  1. The Big Burger, Powai

The Big Burger_The Big BurgerThis outlet is situated at Hakone Children’s Park, Hiranandani Garden and is founded by Nick Bagga in 2010. They serve grilled meat burgers in chicken or mutton, as well as paneer and crispy vegetarian burgers. Italian Chicken Burger (Rs 160) consisting of chicken, pesto mayo and mozzarella and The Big Burger (Rs 250) consists of two portions of mutton meat and a cheese slice, and are really worth trying out.

Also, the Punjabi Burger (Rs 90) consisting of corn and palak with spicy mint sauce is a good treat for vegetarians. Nick says that the recipes for patties and sauces are his.

  1. The Good Food Co., Vile Parle (East)

Founded in December 2011 by Anuj Jodhani, this place is located at Nehru Road, opposite Brijwasi Sweets. It serves 100% vegetarian burgers. Simply Vego Burger (Rs 50), Corn Cheese Surprise Burger (Rs 100) and Mexicano Burger (Rs 100) are great eats here. Anuj says that the menu comprises only 5 vegetarian burgers, but all are hits among the customers. The outlet plans to add more burger options soon.

  1. Urban Burger 11, Goregaon (West)

At a walkable distance from Goregaon railway station, this outlet at Aarey Road has been serving vegetarian and non-vegetarian burgers from March 2015. Burger_Urban Burger 11Minty Veg Burger (Rs 45), Chicken Burger (Rs 45) and Chicken Schezwan Burger (Rs 55) are my best picks from here. The patties are hand-made. Hitesh Patel, owner of the outlet says that he wants to introduce more options and is currently experimenting on various combinations.

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Film

Review: Bioscope

Four different films set in one big canvas, Bioscope is a compilation of four poems interpreted by four Marathi filmmakers.
by Ravi Shet

Rating: 4 out of 5

Bioscope is a compilation of four films by four directors, made into a single film. These individual films are not connected in terms of plot or characters; however, the connection between them is all the four stories are based on poems by renowned poets.

The first one is Dil-E-Nadan directed by Gajendra Ahire, based on Mirza Galib’s ghazal of the same name. It tells the story of classical singer Padma Bhushan Nirmaladevi Indori (Neena Kulkarni) and Sarangi player Miyaji (Suhas Palshikar), who make a living selling almonds. An undelivered letter from Delhi gives a possible hint for an invitation to perform almost after two years. The emotions expressed through the ghazal connects the pain of ingnomity for Nirmaladevi and Miyaji. Watch out for the sets and art direction of this film, as well as the screenplay and crisp dialogues by Gajendra Ahire. Neena Kulkarni and Suhas Palshikar are top notch in this one.

This is followed by Viju Mane’s Ek Hota Kau based on Saumitra’s poem by the same name. This one starts with Swapnil (Kushal Badrike) who is called ‘Kavala’ (due to his dark complexion) jumping from one building to another on a daily basis to catch the glimpse of his love Paakali (Spruha Joshi). Paakali likes him too, and throws hints at him, but our mechanic hero thinks he is no match for her due to his dark complexion. Several scenes show crows cawing at each other – this is a metaphor for the hero but it becomes repetitive. This film rides on Kushal’s excellent performance.

 

The third film Bail directed by Girish Mohite is based on Loknath Yashwant’s poem. Panjab (Mangesh Desai), a cotton farmer from Vidharba, comes to Mumbai to participate in a rally that’s protesting against prices given to cotton farmers. He lands up in a shopping mall and sees the prices of cotton shirts being sold – this frustrates him and he agonises over farmers not getting their dues. He stays back to work hard and earn money, so that he can clear off his debts. The end scene of this film brings a lump in the throat. I loved this take on insensitive urbanisation and pathetic conditions of our farmers today. Mangesh Desai’s performance and dialogues by Abhay Dakhane are the highlights of this film.

The final film is Mitraa, directed by Ravi Jadhav, based on Sandeep Khare’s poem and Vijay Tendulkar’s story. This one is in black and white since the plot is set in pre-Independence India. Student Saumitra (Veena Jamkar) lives in a hostel in Pune. Vinayak Joshi (Sandeep Khare) is her best friend who has romantic feelings for her, which he expresses in a letter; however, Saumitra has feelings for her roommate Urmila. Saumitra describes how she discovered at age 14 that she was different from other girls. Veena Jamkar has given a heartfelt performance and the direction is good, too.

Bioscope is a collection of different genres and human emotions woven through four different movies which are unrelated; however it keeps the audiences engaged. Don’t miss the Bioscope song sung by Raghuvir Yadav in the end credits.

(Picture courtesy marathistars.com)

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Eat

5 restaurants for awesome pizza in Mumbai

If you love pizza – and there is hardly anyone who doesn’t – you should check out these lesser-known eateries.
by Ravi Shet

Originally from Italy, pizzas – loaded with cheese and toppings – have always been a hit among Indians. Be it a birthday party or a farewell event, people are quick to order pizza – the more cheese, the tastier it becomes!

Since we love pizzas so much, here’s a list of 5 lesser-known pizza joints in Mumbai. Go ahead, satisfy that craving!

  1. Chilli Flakes, Dadar (East)

Pizza_Chilli FlakesSituated near Five Gardens, this place is founded by Areez Patel in April 2011. They have been serving gourmet style 8”, 10” and 12”pizzas to their customers on all days from 11 am to 11 pm. Their Santa Fe Veg Pizza (Rs 190 for 8”) topped with tortilla chips, onion, roasted pepper, tomato, roasted garlic and coriander and Pesto Shrimp and Chicken Pizza (Rs 260 for 8”) with alfredo pesto sauce on the base and topped with bell pepper, mushroom, chicken, chilli garlic shrimp are really worth the price.

  1. Laziz Pizza, Lower Parel

This outlet founded in March 2014 is at a walkable distance from Lower Parel railway station and opposite Peninsula Laziz-E-Super Veg_Laziz PizzaCorporate Park. They serve fresh pan based pizzas in 6”, 8” and 10” sizes along with the option of thin crust pizzas from 10 am to 10 pm, except for Saturdays. Laziz-E-Super Veg Pizza (Rs 160 for 6”) – loaded with cheese, baby corn, black olive, sweet corn, onion and capsicum and Laziz-E-Hurricane Pizza (Rs 220 for 6”) consisting of cheese, chicken tikka, spicy chicken keema and onion are really worth trying. Also they have a Make-Your-Own-Pizza option, called the Laziz-E-Special Farmaish priced at Rs 200 for 6”. Sagar Shah, franchise owner says that evenings are busy affairs on Fridays and Sundays, along with regular delivery orders by people working in the corporate park.

  1. Pizza Box, Vile Parle (East)

Pizza Cone_Pizza BoxFounded by four women – Uma Joshi, Vaishali Samant (playback singer of Aika Dajiba fame), Kirti Joshi and Sarita Dande – in November 2014, this place has been an instant hit among the people residing in the area. Located at Hanuman Road near ICICI Bank, this place is open on all days from 11 am to 11.30 pm and serves 7”, 9”and 12” pizzas. Their Pahadi Chicken Pizza (Rs 275 for 7”) consisting of chicken in green chutney, onion and capsicum and Balsamic Mushroom Pizza (Rs 250 for 7”) loaded with mushrooms in balsamic reduction are seriously yummy. The Paneer Peri-Peri Cone (Rs 50) is a pizza made into cone shape and stuffed with paneer, onion and capsicum. Uma says, “Our Millet Sprout Pizza and Millet Chicken Pizza with the bajra base is a new addition to the menu, especially for health conscious people.”

  1. Pizza Cafe, Khar (West)

This place was founded by father-daughter duo Ali Charania and Shabana Charania in May 2015, and it is located off Pav Bhaji Pizza_Pizza CafeLinking Road next to Den. It is open on all days from 11 am to 11 pm serving 7”, 9’ and 11” pizzas. The Pav Bhaji Pizza (Rs 390 for 9”) is a double decker pizza soaked in butter, vegetables, masala and onion and Lucknow Chicken Keema (Rs 275 for 7”) loaded with chicken keema, onion, tomato, capsicum, cheese and coriander are gastronomical delights. Shabana says, “The evenings and late nights are busy, especially on weekends.”

  1. 1 Tablespoon, Matunga

This place situated behind Aurora theatre has been serving its customers 100% vegetarian pizzas from August 2012. They serve only 11” pizzas in Artisanal and Italian crusts. Blowing Fire (Rs 350 for Italian crust) having tomato sauce at the base and topped with green capsicum, onions, mushrooms, jalapenos, cheese and tandoori paneer and Fiamma Pizza (Rs 310 for Artisanal crust) having tomato sauce at the base and topped with crispy onions, cheese, chilli flakes and green chillies are my best picks here. Varun Sheth, owner of the eatery, says, “This restaurant started out with passion and love for pizzas. Rather than keeping more options, we have stuck to a simple menu so that we can deliver consistently in terms of taste and experience to our customers.”

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Film

Review: Murder Mestri

An intriguing plot is somewhat waylaid by its lazy treatment, but is saved by its stellar performances and crisp dialogues.
Rating: 3 out of 5

Murder Mestri, directed by Rahul Jadhav, is the story of Prabhakar (Hrishikesh Joshi) who works as a postman in Malgaon and has a strange habit of reading other people’s letters.

Prabhakar is close to his lovable daughter Pari, whom he tells bedtime stories. One day, the villagers find that Prabhakar has been hiding many of their letters for a while (to read at his leisure) and they beat and abuse him in front of the other villagers, including his wife and daughter. Pari believes that her father is a superhero and wants him to do something great that would make her proud.

He decides to stop reading people’s letters; however he can’t resist and soon opens another letter which says that someone named Madhav Mestri in Sawantwadi will be killed by his wife. Encouraged by Pari, Prabhakar makes his journey to Sawantwadi to find and save this Mestri; however on reaching his destination, he discovers that there are three people with the name Madhav Mestri.

 

One Madhav Mestri (Vikas Kadam) is recently married to Hemlata (Manasi Naik) and he is planning his honeymoon. The second Madhav Mestri (Sanjay Khapre) is the sarpanch of the village and his better half Saraswati (Kranti Redkar) while the third, Madhav Mestri (Dilip Prabhavalkar) is a doctor and Malini (Vandana Gupte) is his wife. Prabhakar writes and delivers letter to all the three Mestris, so that one of the Mestris whose life is in threat can be saved. The moment the letters are read by the three Madhav Mestris, it leads to chaos in the married lives of the three couples.

The plot is interesting but its treatment is passable, however the performances by Dilip Prabhavalkar, Hrishikesh Joshi, Kranti Redkar and Vandana Gupte take this film up several notches. Their comic timing is impeccable and the lines they speak are crisp, so if you’re looking for a good laugh riot, you could try this film out.

(Picture courtesy marathistars.com)

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