The women never needed to be told what to do. It’s the men.
by A Woman in Despair
One more horrifying rape (this time from Kolkata) of a young doctor. Inside her workplace. While she was on duty. She was set upon by multiple men, raped, killed, mutilated. Her parents were told she had committed suicide. That made it even worse – that the administration decided to cover up the matter.
As expected, the usual creeps came out of the woodwork. ‘Why was she alone after dark? What was she wearing? Could this really have happened, seems impossible.’ Another hospital in Assam issued an ‘advisory’ for its women staff – with the usual tips on how to behave, conduct themselves, correct attire, not invite any trouble from any man in the vicinity.
Where is the handbook for men? It seems women are always told what to do to keep themselves safe, but who will teach the men not to inflict this level of pain and harassment for absolutely no reason? Since such a handbook/list doesn’t exist, I thought I should create one:
The definitive list on ‘How not to rape’
- Keep your penis inside your pants at all times. You will know when it is time to whip it out, and that happens only if the woman tells you she wants it.
- Women are not objects to take advantage of because you: were bored/wanting to prove your masculinity/cannot tell the difference between consent and force/are not society’s appointed moral guardian who deems it fit to ‘punish’ a woman for something she did to offend you or your moral values/cannot think of anything else but lewd or harassing behaviour to ‘put a woman in her place’.
- A woman could be out in a burqa, or a tank top and hot pants, or even completely naked. Avert your eyes and keep walking. She is not yours to partake of. No woman is. She is dressed in a way that seems okay to her, just as you are.
- Stay at home if your penis cannot remain in the relaxed position on seeing a woman. You have no right to flash your thing around to make a woman uncomfortable or try and subdue her with it.
- A woman at a pub is there for the same reason as you – to have a few drinks and a good time alone or with friends. Her intent is not for you to think about. You ignore other men drinking and laughing with friends – ignore her, too.
- It is not for you to wonder why a woman is out alone on the streets or inside her workplace or anywhere else at night. Why are you out, leering at girls?
- If the only thing you think about when you see a woman is her body and how she would feel if you were inside her, consider having more thoughts on your head on other subjects? You clearly need the education and diversion.
- Only a complete and utter coward descends on a woman with a gang of friends. It’s the oldest rule in the book: equal numbers, or no fight. If you and your friends share a gangrape mentality, please find the nearest train tracks and go lie on them.
- If your response to seeing a woman being catcalled/groped/molested/raped is to walk away quickly or worse, stand around and film it or in short, do nothing to stop it, then too you need to find the aforementioned train tracks. You are guilty of abetment, even if you cannot be immediately caught and made accountable.
- Don’t get married if you think women should: never defend themselves/want to have a career/not be interested in sex/not have a say in how they dress or run their lives. Just because you are married to her does not give you the right to rape her – and you will rape her, because there will be times when she will be so put off by the kind of pig you are, that she will refuse sex and you will find it in you to punish her for it.
(Picture courtesy https://www.ippf.org/node/5431)