Categories
Bombay, bas

Ah, December!

A Mumbaikar makes a wish list for holiday destinations as December sets in, with its festivities and wonderful cool climate.
Pooja Birwatkarby Dr Pooja Birwatkar

I find that December, of all the months, is most charming, the most awaited and most celebrated as we look forward to the new year while waving goodbye to the old year. It is also the time of the year when the holiday mood that sets in with the Diwali break is on the brink of culmination.

With the chill in the air (though Mumbai is still battling with humidity and heat in the day time), our  moods also calm down as we await the Xmas spirit and the excitement of the impending new year. For most of us, however, it’s a time for a mini-break from the city, especially if we’ve had a less-than-happy year.

Few years ago, holidays were actually visits to grandparents and the homes of extended family members. However now with our ultra-nuclear and condensing family structures such plans are in for a face change. As a devoted Mumbaikar, my getaway plan comprises filling the void created by missing so many things I want to do but never get the chance to. And hence, my ideal holiday destination must have the following:

First, the place must not be crowded. We see so many people in Mumbai that my idea of a holiday is to be in a place where there is nobody around for miles. Though my experience tells me that after the initial euphoria of being in a place without people in it, we Mumbaikars start feeling uneasy with the lack of crowds. Pretty much like the classic tale of the fisherwoman who, when given a chance to sleep in the most luxurious room devoid of any noise and smell of fish, kept tossing and turning the entire night and could finally sleep only when a basket of  fish was kept near her bedside. She was probably a Mumbaikar.

Next, the place must have greenery. This is something we long for and satisfy ourselves with the small potted plants kept on our window sills and the few unkempt gardens around us. We want to Saying goodbye to 2014run on green grass, swing on the drooping branches of trees, feel mud under our bare feet, smell the aroma of wet soil, see the blooming flowers and the hovering butterflies, and for once, see some beautiful birds other than our constant uninvited guests, the pigeons and crows. We also long for tree-lined roads with branches swaying in a light breeze. I am sure it would be most Mumbaikars dream to lay their hands on a hose pipe and water the plants in a garden.

The next on my wish list is for many of us a place that offers sumptuous sea food or anything that satisfies a non-vegetarian’s delight. Okay, I don’t mind eating vegetarian food as well, as long as it is affordable, because I find Mumbai eateries rob me of my hard-earned money with every meal I eat out.

Oh, and the place must be a commuter’s delight. I don’t want to stand in long queues for transport, I don’t want to be pushed and shoved while travelling. I want to occupy the entire seat on the train and look out of the window at green meadows and peaceful scenes.

When I go shopping, I want to pick up stuff that I will not find in Mumbai (where one can find anything, trust me). I want to pick up things that will adorn my shelves and keep reminding me that I will take another holiday in the coming year. Besides, I want to boast and make those people jealous, who don’t go anywhere for a break but prefer to sit at home in the holiday season.

Most importantly, the place should have no technology, at least, no Internet connectivity. Okay, I want no Internet connectivity for work, but I do want Whatsapp and social networking sites to function because I want to put up pictures of the places I am seeing.

Now to the most crucial element: arranging the money for the trip. Every Mumbaikar has a wish list of this sort, but not the finances for the expensive holiday that it will inevitably become. I propose a special provision for us Mumbaikars: Give us a mandatory tax rebate on our annual holidays. We deserve breaks more than the others do.

(Pictures courtesy www.sparomdee.com, ww.itimes.com)

Categories
Bombay, bas

So long, Santro…

A Mumbaikar gets nostalgic about her first car and the feelings of friendship, joy and even sadness associated with it.
Shifa Maitraby Shifa Maitra | @ShifaMaitra on Twitter

She was my first car…actually my first big buy, the symbol of my independence. My parents were excited, my father amused that I was taking them for a drive, my mother got me a beautiful Ganpati and my brother was relieved that he would have the family car all to himself.

It was another time, I was another person, the city was still Bombay and petrol was cheaper! The joy of driving, singing along with the song on the stereo and sitting in the car till the song got over, even after you reached your destination.

It was 1998 I think, the traffic was not so bad and you never thought twice before going alone for a drive at 2 am. It was also a time for growing up, to have fun times and some not so fun times. My silver Santro silently saw it all.

From the late night chats parked at Carter Road with gal pals, to driving back from work at Saki Naka and hoping Bani, my colleague and pal, would offer to drive! Feeling like I had arrived the morning I parked at the airport and flew out for a day trip and came back to the airport and drove myself home…but it was my first, so it felt special.

Looking back today, I also realise that somewhere my sense of independence and responsibility grew with my Santro. No more letting random people drive my car, no more drinking and driving…my friendship could not be put to test because, yes, I valued my car and it was there whenever I needed it, unlike you know who…

It gave me a lot of ‘me’ time and perspective. In fact, it even helped me decide, watching a gorgeous sun set at Madh Island, that I was going to be driving back alone. I don’t know how the other person got home, and if he is reading this, I still do not regret what I did.

Back to fun memories, the drive through the fog to Karjat one New Year ’s Eve, to the time we drove to Pune for my sister’s fun wedding, to mom and me taking off to World Trade Centre almost every weekend to shop and do lunch in town…

…to the times I patiently explained to my car that she had to stay home when I went on a date because sometimes it made sense to let the guy feel important! Or that I would always have a silver car, a promise that I have kept.

Sometimes I still miss those days and that car, that was home to CDs and magazines, shoes that were always there in case I felt like going for a walk, the beer cans and soft drink bottles that had to be disposed off before we got home – those days were fun!

I now have a fancier car and I guess a lot more, but whenever I look back at my Santro days, I smile and that is how it will always be. As the car gets phased out, I just want to say a huge, heartfelt ‘thank you’ from a friend!

Shifa Maitra calls herself ‘a true blue Bambaiya’. She is currently a creative consultant with Balaji Motion Pictures. When not gritting her teeth at the traffic, she reads, writes, and watches movies, plays and people.

(Featured image courtesy jessicapuente.com. Image is used for representational purpose only)

Categories
Bombay, bas

What’s wrong with liking ‘Happy New Year’?

What makes us think the ‘masses’ have no brains, and hence deserve ‘certain’ films? Since when did we become such snobs?
Pooja Birwatkarby Dr Pooja Birwatkar

The other day I went to watch a movie, and after a long time I thoroughly enjoyed the new SRK film Happy New Year. Later, as I read the reviews and comments about the film from friends on Facebook and Whatsapp, I received a slight jolt. The reviews trashed the film for being mindless, a total waste of time and okay for people who normally left their brains at home while watching movies. Others said the movie was for the ‘front benchers’, a ‘mass movie’ full of seeti bajao scenes.

In short, Happy New Year is a perfect concoction of all the masalas needed to trigger Indian sentiments – friendship, parental love, patriotism, revenge, hatred, and everything else you can think of.

These reviews and comments prompted me to think: Am I a ‘mass-class’ person? Then I wondered: Wait a minute, what’s so wrong about being the ‘masses’?

I think this Mass v/s Class debate started with people coming to live in the metros, abandoning for ever their lives in villages and small towns for jobs, better lives and more stability. Of course, only those who migrated know the price they have paid for it – nobody can deny that we are lead, or should I say endure, extremely chaotic lives in the cities. Our days are so cluttered and time-bound that we seek escape routes to transform ourselves from the machines we have become to the easygoing humans we would like to be. The intellectual work we do in our offices never offers our poor brains some respite from constant stress and thought, and we Mumbaikars have actually forgotten what it is to ‘Chill maar’.

As adults in a fast-paced, crazy times, we are not alone in losing the ability to focus on the big picture. But we are unable to look for ways to break out of our own shackles. And while most of us may Mass class moviesnot have the chance to walk out of our jobs at this very moment, at least we can relax for one evening and watch a ‘brainless’ movie without having to explain ourselves?

The message I got from Happy New Year was that there are losers who get at least one opportunity to become winners. Isn’t that what we all desire? For one, the film gave me intense sadistic pleasure to know that there are other losers in the world, too. Also, the three hours that I sat through the movie filled me with the hope that losers can achieve what they want, at least once in their lives.

Sure, these movies take us off to a fairytale land where everything’s possible – that, in itself, to detrimental to sane thinking in the real world. But I am sure a lot of us find these movies cathartic and therapeutic to a large extent. Once you step out of the theatre, the real world with all its problems comes back to pounce, but that three hours’ worth of alternate reality was a joy to experience, wasn’t it?

So everyone out there, like me, who once used to be a patron of classy, cerebral films – don’t feel guilty about enjoying masala movies, too. It is totally okay to like mushy romance, gravity-defying action stunts, item songs that make you whistle, intense scenes that make you cry, patriotic scenes that make your heart race. Is your real life filled with so many emotions?

The next time you go to watch a masala movie, go with an open mind. Laugh with everyone in the theatre because everyone, mass or class, is allowed to laugh at the same things. And like the movie said, ‘Keep it simple’. Trust me, life becomes more tolerable once you step out of the theatre.

Dr Pooja Birwatkar is currently pursuing post doctoral research and working in the area of science education. She has been associated with the field of education in the past as a teacher educator, and her area of interest is research in education. 

(Pictures courtesy newsviewslive.com, in.reuters.com. Images used for representational purpose only.)

Categories
Deal with it

The not-so-Aha! moments in the lives of working mothers

Many mothers in Mumbai go to work. But is it better to have a job than be a stay-at-home mom?
Pooja Birwatkarby Dr Pooja Birwatkar

I never thought Murphy’s Law would invade my life so frequently. For the uninitiated, the Law states that ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong’.

Hold that thought.

So the other day, as I went home after a tiring week, looking forward to two days of blissful break from office work, Murphy’s Law came back to haunt me even before I got home. My son was down with fever, and the atmosphere at home was somber and silent. Just as I was playing nurse to my ill child, my little baby asked me the question I had been dreading for very long:

“Why do you go to office? Amit’s mom doesn’t go to office, she takes care of him.”

Aghast at having to finally face the ‘Why do you go to work when other mommies don’t?” question, I tried to give him some plausible reasons, like ‘we need the money’, etc. He wasn’t satisfied, and said he wanted to see me at home when he returned from school. I told him that if I was there, I would make him study and he wouldn’t get too watch TV.

To which my little man said, “It’s okay if I don’t get to watch TV, I just want you around.”

It broke my heart to hear him say this. And it made me think a lot, too.

The reality of being a working mother in this busy metropolis hits hard when there are family emergencies and you are stuck between your home and your workplace. At that point, most working motherworking women would wish they were at home with their kids and family. There are times when working mothers like me get envious of the mothers who are home.

Suddenly, the lives of these stay-at-home moms seem picture perfect, while ours seem to be chaotic. Their houses sparkle, everything follows a system, their houses smell of aromatic cooking and they look relaxed all the time. These moms do the things we don’t have the time for; they do yoga and go for walks. They have the time to bargain at the local vegetable shop. They know what their children are up to all the time, and the children always finish their homework.

In comparison, our lives are an eternal cycle of chaos and mess. I try hard, but something is always amiss. I could forget to send the decorative material my boy’s school wanted, or not be able to keep up with his studies. On other days, I make some bland food and rush out the door, and at times my house is a mess. I often come home with my tired body crying out for bed.

But this happens to all mothers, working or not. The ‘working woman’ tag implies women who go to work outside their homes. But does that mean that women who stay at home are idle? I wouldn’t be too thrilled if my workplace was confined to the walls of my home. I have been a stay-at-home mother and then I went back to work, and I find both roles equally challenging. In fact, the housewives have it harder – I have seen many men introduce their wives as, “She stays at home.” What a crude way to describe the woman’s contribution to the home and its peaceful existence!

working woman 1If we analyse the psychology of stay-at-home mothers, we realise that they feel lost and find life less challenging when they are not given the credit due to them for all the hard work they put in for others – often, without any thanks. Their self esteem diminishes. We see such women socialising frequently, and we unthinkingly criticise them, saying, “Oh, but these women have nothing else to do!” What makes us working women feel that our stay-at-home counterparts are not entitled to their share of socialization?

In the end, the grass always appears greener on the other side. So many housewives wish they went out to work, so many working women want to give it all up and be at home. But would either of these women trade lives? Whichever side we pick, it’s not easy to live with it, but it’s not that tough, either. Not if we realise that life is beautiful at home or outside.

(Pictures courtesy news.nationalpost.com, www.naaree.com. Pictures are used for representational purpose only)

Categories
Bombay, bas

What does Ganesh Chaturthi do for us city slickers?

It is a festival that brings the community together. And we sorely need community spirit in our busy city lives.
Pooja Birwatkarby Dr Pooja Birwatkar

The festival season has begun and Mumbai is in the grip of preparations for its most spectacular festival – the Ganesha festival.

The building where I stay keeps Ganpati every year. However, till the last moment every year, it is a dicey situation for all concerned, as we debate on whether we can host the Elephant God this year or not. Most people are too busy to take the initiative and fear the responsibility. Our ultra-busy lives do not give us the confidence that we would be able to not just welcome Ganpati but also actively participate to make the festival a success.

And every year, things fall into place at the last moment and we manage to have a beautiful celebration. Once the preparation begins, everyone joins in with full enthusiasm. It makes me reflect on one fundamental fact: we actually want festivities to happen.

Sure, celebrating festivals leads to spending a lot of money, harming the environment and myriad other things, but you can’t deny that our festivals also offer us some much-needed solace. Despite our busy lives, or despite being atheists or being strongly opposed to wasting resources, we always look forward to festival season.

Why do you think this is?

The patterns of our lives have dramatically changed over the years. Our channels of socialisation have slowly reduced. We Ganesh Chaturthi in Mumbaihave lesser and lesser people to interact with. As the daily grind goes on, we hardly know how to celebrate our relations, be it our immediate families, friends or even neighbours. Naturally, all of this leads to feelings of loneliness, and a sense of longing for a simpler time, when life was less structured. Our emotions haven’t dried up; it is just that we now struggle to find channels of expression.

Community festivals like Ganesh Chaturthi provide a platform for socialisation. The beauty of our festivals is that we become very humane when celebrating them. Everyone is welcomed in the home of God. The beats of the devotional music, the chants, prayers, the entire gamut of rituals evokes the pious and humane sides of our personalities. As we stand and pray, we solemnly resolve to become better humans. We reflect on our past conduct and examine our follies, decide to transform and for some moments, reach a meditative state. Even if we don’t work on half the things we resolved to work on, those few moments help us reach a stage of self-actualisation, and move away from the usual  Maslow’s need hierarchy tiers of fulfilling basic needs and bothering about safety needs.

Days before our festivals actually begin, most of us have a purpose in life and we are thrilled with thoughts of the upcoming festivities. It’s a great time to bond with family as well. Besides, we clean up our homes thoroughly before festivals before decorating our homes, making sweets and shopping for clothes.

So like every year, Ganesh Chaturthi will mean bringing the Elephant God in our building and also opening up communication with our neighbours. As we all gather for the daily aarti, we also get a chance to interact, make new friends, catch up on gossip with our neighbours. We can definitely use festivals like Ganpati for community experiences. Give your building kids a chance to make a team and organise events and games. This way, they will learn not only how to plan and organise, but will also learn about group dynamics, leadership and other soft skills like communication.

I agree that amidst all this we do harm our ecosystems through the bursting of crackers,blaring of music and wasting of resources, but on the positive side, our festivals give us a break in our monotonous lives. Whatever said and done, festivals do make our lives joyful, happy and something to look forward to year after year.

Dr Pooja Birwatkar is currently pursuing post doctoral research and working in the area of science education. She has been associated with the field of education in the past as a teacher educator, and her area of interest is research in education. 

(Pictures courtesy archive.indianexpress.com, blogs.wsj.com)

Categories
Bombay, bas

What I miss about the Bombay I grew up in

A Mumbaikar gets nostalgic about the Bombay she grew up in, and the Mumbai that her home city has become.
Shifa Maitraby Shifa Maitra | @ShifaMaitra on Twitter

Bombay sure has changed.

Okay, a lot of how much and why I miss the Bombay I grew up in has to do with my being younger and idealistic. So when I recount what I miss, I am not putting in things that still exist but are not in my frame of reference. Things like double decker buses and Samovar restaurant (though it’s not the same without Mrs Rajbans Khanna at the counter in her gorgeous cottons) are two things that rank in that list. But what I definitely miss and would willingly re-embrace include:

Feeling safe. At any time of the day or night and anywhere. Taking an auto or a cab at 2 am, even alone, was par for the course, but not any longer. Bad things actually happen with unfailing regularity in aamchi Mumbai and that’s really not on.

Long drives. Madh island for a drive, Haji Ali for juice, Lonavla just for fun…these were places we actually visited when the whim caught us. But with the current state of roads, the traffic and the cost of fuel being what it is, just commuting to work is bad enough.

Less paranoia. There were times when you could chat with random strangers at a night club, on the train, or in the elevator and ruffle a cute kid’s hair without being looked at with suspicion.

Clean beaches. Madh island didn’t stink the way it does now, and it was actually possible to have a great time there.

Cheap hangouts. Not only were these places easy on the pocked, they were great spots for a chat, a dash of romance or just to hang at. Café Seaside (in it’s earlier avatar), Open House on Hill Road and Linking Road, Sea View at Juhu beach, were some of these places.

Cosmopolitan buildings. The cosmopolitan building culture is almost vanishing. There are very few buildings left where residents actually celebrate all festivals and Promenades in Mumbaiare welcoming and not just tolerant of others.

Local darzis. Oh, the joy of hunting for fabric and then designing it yourself without spending a bomb! And most importantly, not having people in college or office wearing exactly what you are wearing. Those hours spent at Anwarallys near Elco Market and Jam Design in Matunga…they were so much fun.

Circulating libraries. Actually, I miss the time when people actually read. Whether it was magazines, Archie’s comics or M&Bs, everybody read. And then they talked about the latest Jeffery Archer or Robin Cook, not just tweeted about it.

Children playing. In our time, there were actually games like butterflies, hop scotch, and seven tiles. The play station was down in the building and you had to solve your own fights and not go home crying to mummy.

Oh, for the time when having a good time wasn’t about how much you spent. Watching a movie at Gaiety-Galaxy was cool, having cutting at the tapri or vada pav outside Mithibai College was legit and good fun.

But that’s not to say that there’s nothing likeable about the new, improved (?) Mumbai. There is lots to love, still, such as:

It is still safer compared to other cities.

Mumbai has the wonderful Sea Link.

It has amazing coffee shops.

There is free home delivery of practically everything you need.

Cabs and autos here still run on meter.

The local trains are rightly called the lifeline of the city.

The street food is gorgeous.

There is no need to ‘dress up’ to impress people.

Prithvi Theatre cafeMumbaikars are chilled out, even blase, around celebrities.

We have Candies, Prithvi Theatre cafe, the Kala Ghoda Festival, Literature Fest, the MAMI Film Festival.

There are promenades.

We have occasional candle light marches. They don’t serve much purpose, but they rally the city around for a common cause.

Did Shifa miss any unique Mumbai places or experiences? Tell us about them in the comments section below.

‘Bombay, bas’ is a weekly column on getting around Mumbai and exploring the city with a fresh perspective – and with a hint of nostalgia. 

(Pictures courtesy mumbaioutdoors.com, www.boston.com, www.prithvitheatre.org)

Exit mobile version