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How not to rape

The women never needed to be told what to do. It’s the men.

by A Woman in Despair

One more horrifying rape (this time from Kolkata) of a young doctor. Inside her workplace. While she was on duty. She was set upon by multiple men, raped, killed, mutilated. Her parents were told she had committed suicide. That made it even worse – that the administration decided to cover up the matter.

As expected, the usual creeps came out of the woodwork. ‘Why was she alone after dark? What was she wearing? Could this really have happened, seems impossible.’ Another hospital in Assam issued an ‘advisory’ for its women staff – with the usual tips on how to behave, conduct themselves, correct attire, not invite any trouble from any man in the vicinity.

Where is the handbook for men? It seems women are always told what to do to keep themselves safe, but who will teach the men not to inflict this level of pain and harassment for absolutely no reason? Since such a handbook/list doesn’t exist, I thought I should create one:

The definitive list on ‘How not to rape’

  1. Keep your penis inside your pants at all times. You will know when it is time to whip it out, and that happens only if the woman tells you she wants it.
  2. Women are not objects to take advantage of because you: were bored/wanting to prove your masculinity/cannot tell the difference between consent and force/are not society’s appointed moral guardian who deems it fit to ‘punish’ a woman for something she did to offend you or your moral values/cannot think of anything else but lewd or harassing behaviour to ‘put a woman in her place’.
  3. A woman could be out in a burqa, or a tank top and hot pants, or even completely naked. Avert your eyes and keep walking. She is not yours to partake of. No woman is. She is dressed in a way that seems okay to her, just as you are.
  4. Stay at home if your penis cannot remain in the relaxed position on seeing a woman. You have no right to flash your thing around to make a woman uncomfortable or try and subdue her with it.
  5. A woman at a pub is there for the same reason as you – to have a few drinks and a good time alone or with friends. Her intent is not for you to think about. You ignore other men drinking and laughing with friends – ignore her, too.
  6. It is not for you to wonder why a woman is out alone on the streets or inside her workplace or anywhere else at night. Why are you out, leering at girls?
  7. If the only thing you think about when you see a woman is her body and how she would feel if you were inside her, consider having more thoughts on your head on other subjects? You clearly need the education and diversion.
  8. Only a complete and utter coward descends on a woman with a gang of friends. It’s the oldest rule in the book: equal numbers, or no fight. If you and your friends share a gangrape mentality, please find the nearest train tracks and go lie on them.
  9. If your response to seeing a woman being catcalled/groped/molested/raped is to walk away quickly or worse, stand around and film it or in short, do nothing to stop it, then too you need to find the aforementioned train tracks. You are guilty of abetment, even if you cannot be immediately caught and made accountable.
  10. Don’t get married if you think women should: never defend themselves/want to have a career/not be interested in sex/not have a say in how they dress or run their lives. Just because you are married to her does not give you the right to rape her – and you will rape her, because there will be times when she will be so put off by the kind of pig you are, that she will refuse sex and you will find it in you to punish her for it.

(Picture courtesy https://www.ippf.org/node/5431)

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3 steps to becoming a professional dancer

A famous film choreographer explains what it takes to excel as a professional dancer and the steps needed to get there.
Longinus Fernandes .by Longinus Fernandes

Do you know what it takes to excel as a professional dancer?

To begin with, professional dancers display choreographed body movements and can appear either in theatre productions, TV shows, movies or dance recitals. Every dancer must be able to tell stories and display emotions with their bodies through various styles like ballet, hip hop and modern dance.

Dancers are also likely to pursue other dance-related professions after they can no longer perform professionally.

Fierce competition exists among professional dancers for available jobs. There is always a risk of injury in this career, as it is a very demanding one. Your working hours are highly irregular and may include days of rehearsals and evenings of performance, seven days a week. Travel is often required as a professional dancer, sometimes to exotic destinations. Tours may last for months on end away from home.

What do you need?

For starters, you must begin your dance training in childhood, which can continue throughout one’s life. Training usually starts as early as the age of five years in order for the dancer to gain enough experience to find professional work.

As a professional dancer, you must be creative, understand team work and have tremendous confidence in yourself. Apart from learning dance, one must also record high levels of mental stamina and physical endurance.

The 3 steps to turning pro

Step 1Begin training

Most dancers start their training before they become adolescents and audition for full time work by the tender age of 16. Even after a dancer finds employment, training must continue throughout the dancer’s entire life.

Many students attend dance training programmes in their teens. Private dance or performing arts schools and institutes can provide the experience needed to gain acceptance into an advanced dance school. It is important to periodically enrol in workshops to get the added advantage of different perspectives.

Step 2: Acquire knowledge

Although post-secondary education is not required for a dancing career, specific dance styles or programmes can allow students to explore various dance genres, or concentrate on a specific discipline. Performance opportunities are often available to give students practical experience.

Step 3: Stay contented, conditioned and strong

A dancer’s job is physically demanding and requires long and irregular hours. Dancers typically must stay in top physical condition through regular exercise and training. Dancing is extremely taxing on the body, and a dancer may spend 8 hours or more in class or practicing.

Dancers have one of the most or the highest numbers of on-job injuries, so it is important to keep the body healthy and strong in order to continue working. Dance is the best way to feel that you are working without actually doing so! I always tell my students: “Always do what you love and love what you do.”

Longinus Fernandes is a nationally and internationally acclaimed dancer who has choreographed such hit songs as the Academy Award winning ‘Jai Ho’ from the film Slumdog Millionaire.

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Artistes, this if for you: Coovum Art Festival

This public art and outreach project, that started with a walk, will celebrate the Coovum river and water through art.
by PA Madhavan

It gives me immense pleasure in announcing Goa Centre for Alternative Photography’s (Goa-CAP) brand new initiative, ‘Coovum Art Festival’, Chennai, India. The Coovum Art Festival is a public art and outreach project that leads people to the Coovum river banks, to take ownership and celebrate the river and water through art. It unites the works of local, national, and international artists through exhibitions, installations, performances, and educational programmes that engage residents and visitors throughout the City of Chennai/Madras.

Coming up in January 2015, the festival has now opened calls for proposals on our website for those who would like to create an installation, art exhibit, workshop, screening, etc.

In July 2015, a group of 25 artists, activists, and journalists from India led by me, walked 10 days along the river Coovum (www.walkalong.in). This walking project was conceived with the aim to bring different genres of artistic and social media together to experience the river ecosystem, its interaction with the landscape and the relationship between river and people. During the walk the participants felt strongly that a programme should be organised to bring the people of Chennai to the Coovum and change their understanding and perspective of this river. This snowballed into Coovum Art festival.

Goethe-Institut / Max Mueller Bhavan Chennai, the German Cultural Institute, Chennai City Connect, Confluence 10 and Chennai Rivers Restoration Trust (Government sponsored trust) are principle partners to this festival.

We invite imaginative, well-conceptualised, bold and thorough proposals from artists in India and internationally for the festival. The last date for sending the proposals is October 31, 2015, 23:55 IST.

Visit www.walkalong.in/coovum for more details.

(Picture courtesy madrasmusings.com)

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Pest proof your home

Pests can make your life miserable and your home inhabitable. Treat the problem before it gets completely out of hand.
by Reyna Mathur

All houses are attacked by pests at some point in time. While some infestations are minor and can be handled swiftly, others remain hidden for some time and quickly become unmanageable.

The problem normally starts with the entry of ants, which are then followed by cockroaches. In houses that are not dusted regularly and which are located in areas of dense traffic and construction activity, there will be an abundance of dust mites on the furniture and clothes. After cockroaches settle in and begin to multiply, they will be followed by lizards. In the meantime, if bed bugs have entered the home, they wreak their own havoc.

Don’t subject yourself to this torture. Once pests make an entry into the home, it takes a lot of effort and money to clean out the house in its entirety. It is not a problem that goes away forever after one bout, you have to be on your vigil. But if you take the right steps on time, you can save yourself a lot of trouble later.

This is what you should do:

Examine all wet areas. The wet areas of the home are the bathroom, toilet, wash basin and kitchen sink. Moisture is omnipresent in these areas, however much you try to keep them clean and dry. However, your cleaning routine in these areas should include a strong disinfectant cleaner. Wipe down all surfaces at least twice a week to discourage fungal growth, and spray all water traps with insect killers thrice a week at night. Cockcroaches tend to come out of these traps from water pipes, so they should be discouraged at the earliest. If there are any places that remain moist even without direct contact with water, have them checked for hidden leakages. Wet areas breed vegetation, mosquitoes, and certain types of bugs and worms, and are most prone to attack.

Enlist the help of a pest control agency. The first line of attack should always be launched by a good pest control system involving sprays, gels and powders. A basic pest control clean-up will comprise three rounds of spraying and powder-treating all vertical and some horizontal surfaces of the home with chemicals to repel ants, bugs, dust mites, cockroaches and lizards. Bed bug infestations will have to checked every 10 days for a month with intensive sprays in the affected areas. Borer infestations are normally controlled by special anti-borer sprays and gels with two spells of treatment. If you have rats in the house, you will require a multi-pronged strategy requiring sprays, foods laced with poison, adhesive surfaces to which the animal will adhere, and also rat traps. Explain the situation in detail to the pest control company, and they will suggest the course of treatment to you.

Bird-proof your windows. Birds are not pests, but when allowed to enter the home, they can cause infestations. Of the birds present in the cities, pigeons are the most prone to enter the homes looking for nesting places. Their droppings contain carbon compounds that cause respiratory disorders in humans and pets, and their feathers contain dust mites. Too often we ignore birds’ feathers that blow into our homes with the breeze, but we must get rid of them at once because they house several bacteria that can cause allergies and pests. A simple remedy is to install a wire mesh on your windows so that birds cannot get in. When you leave water outside the windows for the birds to drink, be sure to examine the area every day, since crows have a tendency to drop hard food like animal bones and tough rotis inside the water to soften them. This gives rise to a column of ants and bugs that are attracted to the carcass and which soon enter the home.

Examine your pets for ticks and mites. Dogs and cats have hidden ticks and mites inside their fur, and these soon multiply if the pet’s skin is not cleaned thoroughly. Chemists and pet shops stock several sprays and dips to clean out mites, and you can also invest in a firm comb to remove the animals hiding in the fur. You must get rid of these animals at the earliest, because over time, they can also infest your furniture and wherever the pet is accustomed to sleeping. They can also pose a danger to very young children who constantly play with the pet.

(Picture courtesy www.in.all.biz. Image is used for representational purpose only)

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How to make a dog-friendly home

If you have a dog, you’ll have to make changes to your home for your furry little friend’s overall comfort.
by Reyna Mathur

It has become a trend to have a dog or a cat in the home these days, especially in the cities. Our four-legged friends bring joy and comfort to our lives, and take away the loneliness and despair we may feel in our interactions with other humans. Whatever the kind of person you are, what your failings are in life, or how much money you make, your dog will not care about any of these things and still love you unconditionally.

Which is why you should reciprocate this love by making your home as friendly and comfortable for your dog as possible. It will surprise you to know how little we think of this aspect getting a dog home – apart from feeding them regularly and keeping them in good health, we also have to increase their feelings of wellbeing by making some adjustments to the home.

Change your floor tiles. The first adjustment you will have to make is to change the tiles or flooring of your house. Dogs need slightly rough surfaces to walk and run on, and shiny, glossy Italian marble or granamite tiled floors will make them clench their feet with every step to avoid slipping. This causes their claws to grow improperly, and in the long term, can give the pet leg and spinal issues. Invest in rough-hewn, matte finish flooring and if you have a separate room for the pet, lay thick linoleum on the floors. Linoleum allows the dog to dig in its claws if necessary – of course, you will have to replace it periodically once it discovers it can pull out entire swathes of the material!

Change the toilet to an Indian-style one. The first thing you must do on bringing the pet home is to toilet train it so it doesn’t urinate or defecate on the floor or furniture. Most dogs don’t adapt well to the toilet training routine, not because they are incapable of learning, but because they are not comfortable with the toilet. A sufficiently well-trained dog will head to the toilet every time it wants to urinate or defecate, and will only do its business on the floor. Since dogs cannot climb on to the commode, it is better to have an Indian-style toilet for the pet’s use. Anything that is at floor level will be gladly welcomed by the dog.

Let windows be accessible. Dogs love to sit at the window, especially the ones that are alone at home while their owners go to work. Your dog will pick a favourite window in the house and claim it. A good idea is to create a comfortable seat with a rubber padding on the top for the dog to sit on. Most windows in Mumbai are not at floor level, so if your building allows, you can elongate the window your dog prefers. Alternately, create a wide seat for your dog to climb over and sit, or even snooze on after meals. The seat should also accommodate the dog’s eating bowl and a utensil for water.

Restrict the use of fresheners and harsh cleaners. We use air fresheners in spray or tablet form in the bathrooms and toilets. While the fragrance of these is acceptable to us, most dogs recoil from the smell because their olfactory senses are much more refined than ours. What is a fragrance for you might be a disturbing irritant for your dog, so if you see the dog sneezing more often or resisting attempts to go where you have used an air freshener, remove the offending item at once. Some dogs are allergic to the chemicals in these substances, so it is better to avoid them altogether.

Your kitchen should be off-limits. As beloved as your dog is to you, you will have to keep him or her out of the kitchen. This is where you cook and keep the wet garbage, both of which are very attractive to your dog. However, most pets have a tendency to shed hair on a daily basis, and if you allow your dog to enter and exit the kitchen at will, there will be dog hair all over the counters and cooking tops, not to mention in your food itself. Dogs are also immediately attracted to garbage pails, so you will have to keep the pail out of reach and difficult to knock over. Apart from training your dog to wait outside the kitchen and never to follow you inside, you can install door guards at the kitchen entrance so that the dog can’t get in. Install a lockable door for your kitchen as well, which should be locked when the kitchen is not in use.

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How light influences your home

It’s not enough for the home to be beautiful, it needs sufficient light as well. Here’s how you can light up.
by Reyna Mathur

Many people do up their homes beautifully, sparing no expense on furniture and fittings. And then they fix ordinary tube lights and bulbs on the walls, killing off the beauty of the house in one stroke. You cannot leave the lighting of the house for last – light design is a discipline in architecture and interior design, and the fitting of lighting appliances in your home cannot be an afterthought.

People hardly ever give a thought to light as an element. It is available in both natural and artificial form, and it is up to a good designer to harness its power and beauty after studying the layout of the house. If not done right, your house can result in dim passages, over-lit bedrooms, dark entrance foyers, and dank bathrooms. Knowing which light is required for which space, and what sort of light design will get the best out of your home, is crucial.

If you haven’t thought about this subject before, let us offer you a handy guide:

Sunlight is key. Science dictates that sunlight kills a host of bacteria, clears the air and enhances our mood. The absence of sunlight acts on our mood directly – ever wondered why you feel a little gloomy during the rains, when there are cloudy grey skies? Hence, your home must receive an ample share of sunlight every day. Sitting in a patch of early morning sunlight will give you the required amount of Vitamin D for your body, and as the morning progresses, sunlight will purify your surroundings. Homes not receiving direct sunlight have a distinct disadvantage in this sense. Even if the light is piercing, don’t shut it out entirely from your home with heavy drapes. Expose your home to at least two hours of sunlight.

Which directions do your rooms face? However, direct sunlight can force you to beat a hasty retreat, especially if you’re at work in the kitchen or working on the computer in your bedroom. Architectural principles dictate that sunlight should enter directly in the living room and kitchen area, and also possibly in the toilet and bathroom, to reap all its natural benefits. But the bedroom spaces must be free of direct sunlight, because it can disturb sleeping patterns. When buying a new house, study the directions on a compass. Your bedroom should face the North direction, while the living room and other spaces may face the South. North lighting is the best – it is subdued, so you don’t need to shut the drapes on it. Those looking for studio space must insist on the light coming from the North direction, because it is the best for painting and comparing colours.

The right bulbs and lights. To save money, people opt for white tube lights all over the house. While this is a matter of personal preference, interior designers will tell you that the white light associated with a tube light or ‘cold’ halogen bulb is to be used in the kitchen and bathroom spaces only, not in the living spaces such as the living room and bedroom. In these living spaces, diffused yellow light is the best, because we spend most of our time in these spaces so the lighting conditions should be ideal. You can install yellow CFLs in the home if you are looking for a cost-effective, long term alternative to the usual light bulbs.

Hot and cool lights. Every lighting implement – whether natural or unnatural – has the element of ‘heat’ attached to it. Thus, white light associated with tube lights is ‘cooler’ than yellow light, because white light has no heat component. In contrast, yellow light emanating from the Sun or manmade light bulbs is ‘hot’ in nature, because close contact with it will make you experience heat (a big reason you can’t soak in the sunlight for very long). Ordinary tungsten filament light bulbs of 100W or more illumination are often used to provide heat in incubators, or to dry out a freshly painted wall and make the colour stick. If you are confused about which ones to opt for in your home, enlist the help of a knowledgeable interior designer to suggest options.

(Pictures courtesy www.foreignpixel.com. Image is used for representational purpose only)

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