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Oh no. Ketchup again.

Do not put ketchup over everything you eat. Please treat it like it should be  treated – like a base.
by Rakshit Doshi

The single worst invention of mankind, in my opinion, is ketchup. There, now I have offended 1.2 billion people who can’t live without it. But it’s true.

We are conditioned to add ketchup to anything western – pizza, pasta, bread, sandwich, burger… some people even mix it with (I’m cringing as I type this) daal and rice! Without understanding its taste or purpose, its use is lethal.

In case you didn’t know, ketchup came from the far east Asian culture of salted/pickled fish that was used as an accompaniment (the Malay word for the sauce was kĕchap). Today, it is essentially tomatoes cooked with salt and a large quantity of vinegar, which is what makes it sour. Then there is sugar and an assortment of spices, the use of which depends on the maker. It can have even onion, garlic, oregano, the sky is the limit.

What ketchup can be used for is a base for sauces – like a lazy man’s Arrabbiata can begin with ketchup, or maybe when you want to cook up a quick dip for those potato wedges.

I guess I was a little harsh on ketchup at the beginning of this piece, but hey, I stand by my opinion on how we use it. So the next time you handle that bottle, check if you really need it. Okay? Okay.

Rakshit Doshi writes for broadcast media to earn his bread and butter but also is a foodie who loves to make a fat club sandwich of it.

 

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Watch

Not happening, mate

Our expectations of Masterchef Australia All Stars were sky-high. But the show is quite unexciting and curiously lacking in flavour.
by The Diarist | thediarist@themetrognome.in

At the outset, let me declare my undying love for Masterchef Australia. I don’t even cook, and I don’t prefer any and every cuisine, but there’s something about watching cactus being cooked and cauliflower being pureed with squid ink on this show that really gets me hooked.

Naturally, I was looking forward to Masterchef Australia All Stars, where selected contestants from the first three seasons of the show would participate in an effort to raise money for their favourite charities. Coming right after the awesome Season Four ended in India last week (on Star World), I confess I expected to be taken on a wild ride from Episode 1 of All Stars. After all, these were people who had done it all before – and two of them were winners – so I really felt that the show would be well worth the interest Masterchef Australia generates in the country.

But, no. Thus far, I have been disappointed, and also very bored with the episodes I’ve seen. There’s some vital ingredient missing from this show, a curious occurrence since its four previous seasons have been total paisa vasool even for non-cooks. Much like the judges’ critique for a dish not up to standard, this season has no zing, no flavour, no inventiveness.

I think the show suffers because none of the participants are ‘characters’, like Alice or Audra from Season 4. Or its flatness could be because it started with team cooking, which I find is not always as exciting as individual pressure tasks. Or it could just be that we’ve seen too much Masterchef Australia this year – there was also Junior Masterchef before Season 4 – and we need a long break from the show.

What do you think of ‘Masterchef Australia All Stars’? Send your opinion to thediarist@themetrognome.in.

 

 

 

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Wellness

Lose weight – light a candle

Suchitra Krishnamoorthi’s range of candles heal, detoxify, treat anxiety, insomnia and even depression, apart from helping in weight loss too.
by The Diarist | thediarist@themetrognome.in

There are stranger things in the world, we suppose, than candles that do more than help us finish dinner when the lights go off. What if we told you that there are candles that help one lose weight? Or moisturise the skin? Or banish that nagging headache? Or even help soothe anxiety and loss of confidence?

Actor, singer, painter and now the founder of The Candlelight Company, Suchitra Krishnamoorthi came out with a range of candles in August this year that combined colour therapy, feng shui, chakra healing, mantra and aromatherapy with candle making. “In short, it is candle therapy. I have always had a keen interest in the natural sciences as a holistic alternative to allopathy. I have also loved making candles as a hobby. So, I simply combined my interests and created candles that promoted wellness,” she says.

“Two years ago, I was facing a lot of ups and downs in my life. At that time, I started seriously researching and studying essential oils and their healing properties. I had always been interested in properties of essential oils and how each has a different role to play in healing the body,” she explains. She further honed her skills and knowledge after studying the subject in France and England last year. “The perfume and essential oil industry in France is the biggest in the world,” she says. “But the most interesting bit is that they import all their oils from India and Indonesia!” she exclaims.

The candles, if her claims are to be believed, have surprising healing properties. For instance, there is a candle that nourishes dehydrated skin as one sleeps, and is made of cocoa, mango and kokum butters, plus beeswax and jojoba. Another one claims to help insomniacs sleep (made of valerian, lavender and other sleep-inducing essential oils), while others cure headaches and even the common cold. But Suchitra’s favourite one is the candle that alleviates anxiety. “A close friend of mine developed techachardia after she lost her father. She took about 50 of the anxiety candles from me, saying that nothing else worked for her,” she says, adding that her own chronic insomnia was cured after breathing in the aromas of root oil.

She explains how essential oils work on the system and how it is helps healing. “Sensory preceptors in the brain that have millions of olfactory nerve cells go to work when you breathe in scented air. Tiny cilia fibres on each cell have receptors that have different shapes to fit different scent molecules. The nerve cell then relays the scent to the brain where the limbic system associated with emotions is stimulated. That’s how it works.”

If this sounds intriguing, check this out, too: there are also candles that protect the home from pests, candles that put one in a sensual mood, candles that help students concentrate on their studies better, and candles others that help boost one’s self-esteem and confidence.

While her friends showed support by “buying in bulk” right from the day she launched the company, Suchitra has already found a big champion for her candles abroad – Deepak Chopra, a world-renowned mind-body healing pioneer and writer. “Whether you desire sensual delight, tranquillity or healing, Suchitra Krishnamoorthi’s candles will take you there,” he says. Back home, her ex-husband, director and writer Shekhar Kapur is also a user. “But he has warned me to give people specific instructions about their usage. There’s no point lighting up the sensual candle and staying up horny all night, when you actually wanted to have a relaxing sleep!” she laughs.

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Diaries

‘There’s lust. And there are Chennai men’

Aditya Kshirsagar (24), really hates Chennai, and he’s taking the first flight home the moment he completes his media course.
Part I of the ‘Away from home’ Diaries.

I stay at Malad, near Inorbit Mall. I have been living there for the last five years. I left Mumbai on August 4 this year to pursue my masters in Journalism. I will specialise in Online Media. I still haven’t decided what I’m doing next, but I’m taking the first flight back home after completion of my course.

I had a very definite moment of parting with the city. That moment, when I stared at the Mumbai Airport board, did it for me. I knew one thing was certain – I would be returning very soon and for good. I got my admissions in the college at Chennai, post-that I was travelling back and forth because I needed to find an apartment in Chennai. Luckily, I found a good place in a central area of Chennai, Nungambakkam.

My first day, indeed my first week here were eased by the presence of many friends and well-wishers. One of them is a lady who is very special to me, and she basically took care of everything for me. My stay here has been made quite easy by her. So, there were no homesick moments or anything of the sort.

My typical day here? Let’s see – get up early, before the water goes away, bathe, skip breakfast, collect lunch, go to college by 0930 hours and stay there till 1800 hours. Come back home, contemplate dinner, no wants to cook, end up eating at a cheap eatery most of the nights. The place is called ‘Garage.’ This is what my week looks like, with a change on Sundays and public holidays. So yeah, it is less than exciting.

The list of what I don’t like about Chennai is a long one. I’ll just put it in points:

1) The way people in Chennai drive is horrible. Especially the MTC bus drivers, I swear there are times I have thought I would be crushed under one. I got my bike here and have not yet installed my mirrors, because it’s just a scary proposition to see that thing behind you.

2) Being called a North Indian. I don’t mind the word ‘North’ and I don’t have any geographical affiliations or likes or dislikes. But what hurts the most is the arrogance that people here display while saying the word. There was an instance where I was stopped by a senior police inspector and accused of being a thief, ‘like all other North Indians’.

3) The lack of a drainage system that leads to instant flooding of the roads.

4) Due to a lack of facilities, people here drink bottled water every day. Poor people here are dying of cholera, dengue, malaria and so on. They have a Cholera Hospital here

5) The way men stare at women. There is lust and then there are Chennai men; it’s beyond disgusting for women.

6) Rickshawwallahs. They charge Rs 200 or more for a distance of Borivali to Goregaon.

What I miss the most about Mumbai are its rickshawwallahs, its vada pav, varan bhat with toop and thecha, disciplined traffic, helpful people and cops, all the night eateries, and the safety for women and personal property. Yes, like several Mumbaikars I have also felt that I would leave the city for good some day, on several occasions. But home is where the smug is. I will go around, see the world or whatever, but my final resting place hopefully would be that bitch of a city.

The fast-paced life with a heterogenous crowd is very contagious. It’s not about the Mumbai spirit and hypothetical things like that. It is a place that you might physically leave, but somewhere that virus of being a Mumbaikar never leaves you.

Ah, Mumbai.

Diaries is a weekly series of stories on a single issue. The ‘Away from home’ diaries are stories of Mumbaikars who have left the city for a space of time.

 

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Diaries

‘Winter brought homesickness…’

Sneha Kamat feels that if London wasn’t perpetually cold and rainy, it is actually an ideal city to live in.
Part II of the ‘Away from home’ series

The night of September 4, 2011 was a rather sleepless one. I was leaving for London the next day and the ball of anticipation in my stomach, coupled with dread, kept expanding.  At 27, I had finally mustered up the courage to quit my job of five years at a publication house to pursue a Masters in International Publishing Studies at City University, London. This was a particularly courageous year for me, because I also managed to get over my fears of matrimony and took the leap of faith in August. My husband works in London, so studying here made it a rather convenient move.

I left for the airport from my husband’s home, which in retrospect made me realise, was one of the chief reasons I effectively reined in the waterworks. It was indeed overwhelming; convincing myself that I shouldn’t fret because I’d see my family soon enough; besides trying in vain to pack a large part of my world into the two suitcase limit I was allowed by the airline. I stared vacantly at my startlingly empty closet. I’d never packed away so much before in my life. I’d never moved home, never taken a really long trip anywhere. This was in every which way, a first.

I walked out of Heathrow airport into a cold, crisp temperature of 17 degree Celsius. As someone who always prefers heat to cold, I wasn’t sure I liked this at all. I called my mum to tell her I’d reached safely. Of course, the first question she asked me was about the weather. “Feels like Lonavala, Ma,” I remember saying, in a rather fake, bright voice.

The next few days were about settling into my new home, adjusting to married life (that is not just a boring cliché!), and learning about the tube system in London, which would be my predominant mode of transport to the central part of the city, where my college is located. Now the best thing about the London Tube system is that even the most directionally-challenged person in the universe, and I’m a top contender for that spot, can figure it out within the course of a single day.

I started college within two weeks, and was immediately inundated with assignments and submissions. As someone who hadn’t been in the classroom for more than five years, staying awake during morning lectures became my first priority. I was also learning a very important art that must be mastered when one moves to a cold country – the Art of Layering! Thick leggings, thermal socks, cardigans, pullovers, jumpers, woolly scarves, gloves and loads and loads of tights, varying in thickness. This wardrobe makeover wasn’t to fulfil some girly whim; it was a necessity in every way if I wanted to feel my fingers and toes at the end of the day.

My first semester was exhausting. I was in class practically all day. And on weekends, in the library with my group members, breaking my head over project work. I live more than an hour away from college, so between all that work and travel, there wasn’t much time to mope or despair over how much I missed home. My gruelling schedule meant that I hadn’t even explored the city the way I’d planned to. But I knew it was in the offing and the onset of winter brought on the first wave of homesickness.

Winters here mean that it’s not just the cold that you’re dealing with. It gets dark by 3 pm and stays that way till sunrise the next morning. My body clock was a mess. I was often ready to go to bed by 6 pm, and waking up in the morning when it’s 5 degree Celsius outside is a tormenting task, especially for someone who detests mornings, early or otherwise. My semester had ended by then, but I had my written papers coming up soon after the New Year. One of the modules I was studying for was Publishing Law. I can positively state that between learning about inane acts and rights and dealing with the cold and the darkness, the festive Xmas and New Year period in London were among my worst weeks till then.

There were crying jags, there was massive abuse of calling cards, there was tremendous venting on the exasperated husband, and of course, panic attacks about writing exams after so long, especially that law paper. In all my years back home in Mumbai, I’d incessantly bitched about the heat, the traffic, the overworked-underpaid scenario and what not. But none of it mattered anymore. My Mumbai was my Mumbai. And I loved it a bit too much to care about anything else right then.

The manic behaviour ended with the exams, and I decided I’d take a trip back home in my rather long Easter break. One month in Mumbai, with my friends and family around me, stuffing myself with butter chicken and Gajalee’s prawn curry rice, and I was a happy camper again. Who needs spas and exotic holidays when you have your people to cheer you up!

I came back in March and settled back into college and routine and things have been a lot easier since then. I’ve slowly settled in to the London life. I’m more comfortable taking the tubes here than I ever was taking a train back home. There’s a lot of walking every day but my feet don’t hurt any more. My resistance to the cold has definitely gone up. I’ve found plenty of Indian shops where I can find many Indian goodies, including Parachute coconut oil and Marie biscuits. The city is a shopper’s paradise and I managed to undertake a fair bit of exploring this summer and some European travel too.

I love the quiet mornings, the lack of persistent honks, and the fact that I can almost always reach a place on time, without being a traffic jam victim as was my daily issue back home.

I might very well be coming back to Mumbai in a few years, but for now I’m looking forward to restarting my career here. London is slowly growing on me. It’s not home like Mumbai and I don’t know if it ever will be, but there’s something about this city that endears itself to you. In fact, if it wasn’t so cold and rainy most of the time, it’s quite the ideal city to live in.

I also believe life will become easier as I form a strong network of friends here. Sometimes I miss how easy it was to just call a friend and drop in to the neighbourhood cafe for a hot cup of coffee or share a muffin. Then again, home is where your people are. If I transported everyone I loved to London, maybe I wouldn’t miss Mumbai as much. So eventually it all comes down to forming your circle.

I look forward to my breaks back home, but I’m also learning to enjoy my time in London. Meanwhile, my quest for the best butter chicken in this city continues and I’ve vowed to enjoy it aplenty before I leave.

Sneha Kamat Bhavnani is a resident of 7 Bungalows, Andheri W. She’s just finished her MA in International Publishing Studies from City University, London and is awaiting her results. When she isn’t ranting about the London weather, you’ll find her indulging in her latest passion – online shopping! 

Diaries is a weekly series of stories on an issue. The ‘Away from home’ diaries are stories of Mumbaikars who have left the city for a space of time.

 

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Diaries

‘Hyderabad’s best-kept secret is its weather’

Berges Malu moved to Hyderabad last year. There aren’t many pretty girls in Hyderabad, he says, and regionalism supersedes development there.
Part III of the ‘Away from home’ series

I’ve spent over 20 years of my life in Mumbai. I was born in Mumbai. I studied at St Xavier’s School (at Fort) and then at KC College. I’ve been in Hyderabad for over a year now.

I left Mumbai last year, in July, for Hyderabad to pursue my Masters Degree in Political Science. I got admission in a central university, which is among the best in the country.

The initial move to Hyderabad happened almost overnight. I got admission on July 16, 2011 and I was asked to join class the very next day. So I didn’t really have the time to think about the move, and that I was leaving Mumbai, so much. The one memory I do have though, is at Mumbai airport; my flight was delayed due to the rains and the rains in Mumbai were massive that day, you could barely see the wingtips! But Hyderabad was sunny and fine!

My first week in Hyderabad was crazy! Thanks to the delayed flight, I didn’t get a hostel room for all of the first week. Then began a few days of the Telangana strikes, and I had to spend the next few nights with friends who worked at Google. I wasn’t very excited about that.

Hyderabad is a great city, it’s got the charm of a small town but the features of a major city. The food is good as well, but Hyderabad’s best-kept secret is probably it’s weather. Save for the summer months of April and May, Hyderabad has a very moderate dry climate, it’s very pleasant. Which makes me very whiny when I get back to Mumbai and find how sweaty it is!

But there’s not much to hate about Hyderabad. Sure, this city literally shuts by 11 pm, the lack of cabs is unnerving for the first few months you’re here, and there’s a serious lack of pretty girls here! But nothing serious enough to incite dislike.

Oh yes, I surely do miss Mumbai! The fact that I can walk around south Mumbai at any point in time, I have some really close friends there and there’s an entire atmosphere of having fun and being carefree that isn’t quite present in Hyderabad. Mumbai is brilliant! Its people are so energetic, its culture is very warm and its politics, very intriguing. There are multiple issues out here in Hyderabad, especially the development issues which are sidestepped and instead regional or religious issues are given more attention, that’s a bit disconcerting.

If given a chance to shift outside of Mumbai permanently, I would certainly accept it. Mumbai is a great city, but I often find exploring other cities is a lot of fun, and it widens your horizons. I’m going to get done with my MA degree and look for a job before I move to another country to pursue another degree.

Berges Malu is a south Mumbai resident. He is currently pursuing an MA in political science at the University of Hyderabad. When he isn’t pretending to study, he tries to be the neighbourhood superhero. 

 

 Diaries is a weekly series of stories on an issue. The ‘Away from home’ diaries are stories of Mumbaikars who have left the city for a space of time.
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