Author: The Metrognome

Categories
Film

Censor ki (bleep) ki (bleep)

How do B-grade films with offensive dialogues and scenes evade the Censor Board’s scanner, if English films are often snipped?
by M | M@themetrognome.in

Bhoop, Goa City and “I didn’t do anything”. Put these random words together and what do you get? A film called Cigarette Ki Tarah starring a guy named Bhoop (I am serious), filmed in ‘Goa City’ (not State, mind it) who offends the Queen with every spoken work in English. Watch the promo of this film only if you’re up for a dare. This torture…err, film  will be released tomorrow.

What baffles me the most is how the Censor Board let a film out that has ‘Cigarette’ in the title, when on the other hand, visuals of a lit cigarette are blurred on television and in our films? It would have been rather funny to see what the makers of this film would have done if the Censor Board had decided to snip the word ‘Cigarette’ from the title.

That’s not all, in one of the scenes in the trailer, the lead actress gives the middle finger to, I’m assuming, Bhoop. With a name like that, and a face to match, he deserves it.

Another character played by Sudesh Berry, (best known for his role in Border. Remember him? No? Never mind), calls Bhoop a ‘Bloody assh**e’. The swear words are not bleeped out. The icing on the cake is the song with lyrics that go, Khadi hogi khaat, zindagi ki lag gayi waat.

Our Censor Board is very stern with English shows on television, but seems to be okay with dialogues and songs as good as crap on the big screen if it’s a Hindi film. Also, English films on the big screen are forced to delete scenes depicting the slightest nudity, despite being certified ‘A’. Apparently the scenes or dialogues in those films are objectionable and unfit even for a grown-up adult.

I was furious when The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was not released in our country because a few of the Censor guys wanted three scenes removed. Those scenes, the filmmakers said, were very crucial to the plot, so they later shunned the cuts altogether and we had to see the film on DVD.

Words like ‘period’, ‘condom’, ‘breast’ et al are beeped out from sitcoms, so much so that sometimes you fail to understand the joke or catch the punch like because of the abrupt acoustics effect that replaces the offending word. English films on television suffer the most. Try watching The Departed on HBO next time it’s on. You will end up cussing more than Mr Wahlberg.

So, to return to my point, how do crappy B-grade Hindi movies, like Cigarette Ki Tarah and Hate Story end up on the big screen will minimal cuts and with all their crappiness intact? It’s actually quite simple. Allow me two examples to illustrate my point.

These are true stories.

Earlier this year, a song from a hit film was about the fun and frolic alcohol can induce at parties. It was expected to be in trouble, because it had words like ‘rum’ and ‘whiskey’ in it. The task to release the song for public viewing was tough, because the party pooping Censor Board would definitely rain on the parade. So the producers sent tapes of the song and a middleman to the Censor Board office, to “work things out”. Two days later, the song was all over TV and radio. Poochho kaise?

Another film was in a similar soup, where it’s famed item song had a desi alcohol name in it; the song was positioned as the highlight of the otherwise grim movie. At first, the Censor Board acted tough, but things miraculously resolved themselves and poor Chameli was allowed to drink and dance to her heart’s content.

It’s such a weird connection between Bollywood and the Censor Board. Your mind boggles at some recent Censor Board decisions, because you’ve tried applying their logic and objections universally, and come up with several inconsistencies. That said, who’s up for some cigarettes tomorrow?

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

(Picture courtesy koimoi.com)

Categories
Trends

Expect cold nights this weekend

Weather bureau pegs expected minimum temperatures at 17 degree Celsius for Mumbai. No major departures in temperature, humidity are expected.

After hot days and nights last week, precipitated by warm Easterly winds, Mumbai is back to having some seriously cold nights and cool evenings. As per the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD), the city and its suburbs will have minimum temperatures of 17 Degree Celsius for at least the next two nights.

The IMD anticipates that “the temperatures will not fall further.” The current cold weather is seemingly a result of western disturbances, which are low pressure weather systems originating from Central Asia. Temperatures yesterday were as follows: Colaba, maximum: 30.6 degree Celsius, minimum: 21 degree Celsius; Santacruz: 32 degree Celsius, minimum: 17.8 degree Celsius.

Clear skies are expected over the weekend as well.

(Picture courtesy sacbee.com)

Categories
Hum log

Meet a really big loser

Hunk Sandeep Sachdev acts in films and imparts fitness training – but a few years ago, he weighed 125 kgs.
by Vrushali Lad | vrushali@themetrognome.in

Sandeep Sachdev (30) is fit and hunky, just the kind of guy who would get a film offer. Sandeep, a Malad resident, has already done films in the South, and is gearing up for his next release, Inkaar, opposite Chitrangada Singh in January 2013.

Apart from films, Sandeep is also a fitness trainer, nutritionist and motivational speaker with Fitness First. “On the days when I have no shoots or anything else happening, I work out twice a day for an hour each session. On other days, I do a 90-minute workout,” he says, explaining how he maintains his fabulous physique. “I am also careful with my diet, though I eat everything.”

But if you think his good looks and stunning body were handed to him by an indulgent God, think again. Five years ago, the present-day Sandeep was fighting to get out of a fat, 125 kg body.

Biggest Loser

Sandeep was a passionate banker who wanted to try acting, so he shifted to Mumbai from Delhi in 2003. “I loved being in Mumbai, and as bankers, we would look for every opportunity to drink and eat outside. I soon put on a lot of weight, but I didn’t do much about it till my doctor told me I had blood pressure.”

Then Sandeep heard of the show Biggest Loser Jeetega, which was anchored by actor Suniel Shetty and which had 16 participants trying to lose the most amount of weight to win. “I applied for it and they conducted a psychological and physical profile on me to see if I was fit enough to be on it. I was selected and the show became a life-changing experience for me,” he remembers.

Participants were provided with the best trainers, nutritionists and medical experts. “We would work out for four and a half hours every day, with cameras monitoring us constantly. It was difficult initially, to go from a no-exercise lifestyle to gruelling daily workouts. We were totally cut off from the world for four months – we didn’t even know what was happening with the World Cup that year.”

Sandeep says he never entered “a demotivated zone” and never let the “mind games and politics” inside the house affect him. “I put all my energies into my workouts. The show was not like Bigg Boss; here, the harder you worked, the closer you came to winning. Every week, I saw that I was losing weight and that really gave my efforts a big boost,” he explains.

He entered the show with the scales tipping at 124.9 kg, and left it at a cool 74.2 kg weight.

Had lost weight before

In 2002, when Sandeep was still at Delhi, he had lost a good amount of weight through jogging and sensible eating alone. “My brother was an actor in Mumbai, and I decided to get fit, too. I followed a no-cola, no-hard-drinks, no-fried-food diet and I would jog. Even though I was overweight, I didn’t have a negative self-image and I wasn’t embarrassed about my body.

I remember, I would jog past the Lady Irwin College every day, and these girls milling about outside would look at this chubby guy jogging past and laugh. That actually motivated me to work harder. In five months, I knocked off 25 kgs. Once I started losing weight, I would jog past the College with my middle finger raised in the air,” he laughs.

After the show

He had a few film offers after winning Biggest Loser Jeetega, but nothing materialised right away. “I still did acting classes, and started maintaining my body. I did a few music videos and ads, as well,” he says. Then he was approached by a film producer from the South, who asked if Sandeep would train and help the heroine of his project lose weight. “I worked with the girl, and in 45 days, she knocked off seven kgs. I realised I could become a fitness trainer,” he says, explaining that training others to lose weight is tricky – you can work on yourself easily, but you don’t know what will motivate someone else to work out diligently.

“I got associated with Fitness First in 2009 as a personal trainer. I now conduct the Fitness Ki Paathshaala here, and I am also a nutritionist with them,” he says.

Set realistic goals

Today, as a fitness consultant, Sandeep talks of the importance of starting small and thinking big. “People make the strangest of excuses to not exercise. They also set some really big goals right at the start. While it’s okay to have big goals, the problem is that if you don’t achieve a fitness goal soon enough, it hits twice as hard,” Sandeep says.

He adds that he gets letters from overweight people who say that they are embarrassed to step out of their homes because of their bodies. “Being overweight is nothing to be ashamed of. You have to accept the way you look. Only then can you do something about it.” The trick is to set a small goal, work slowly at first, then pick up the pace as the days pass. “It is also important to work towards achieving something that you don’t have because of your excess weight,” he explains.

 

 

Categories
Event

Archeology Day and a long-term demand

The CEMS celebrated Archeology Day and is now pushing for an Archeology Department at the University of Mumbai. A report.
by Shubha Khandekar

Lay enthusiasts, school and college students, curious onlookers and history and archaeology scholars alike, numbering close to 3,000, thronged throughout the day at the Archaeology Day celebrations organised by the Centre for Extra Mural Studies (CEMS) yesterday at the CEMS premises in Vidyanagari, Kalina, to coincide with the birth anniversary of the late Professor HD Sankalia, whose name is synonymous with Archaeology.

The celebrations were inaugurated by Dr DB Deglurkar, President of Deccan College, a premier institution for Archaeology in India, and Rajan Welukar, Vice Chancellor, University of Mumbai, who spent close to two hours examining all the exhibits.

Making a strong recommendation for the University of Mumbai for setting up a full-fledged Archaeology department in its fold, Dr Deglurkar pointed out that being one of the three oldest universities of Mumbai, it was appropriate that academic study of the past, a huge part of which is accessible only through Archaeology, must have pride of place in the University.  “CEMS has taken a commendable step by being the first institution in India to commemorate Prof Sankalia’s birth anniversary in such a memorable and constructive manner,” said Dr Deglurkar.

“The range of activities shown at the Archaeology Day celebrations and the energy of enthusiastic volunteers promises to carry forward the work that Prof Sankalia had begun more than 50 years ago. I wish every success to this venture by CEMS and assure you of every support and help from Deccan College,” he added.

Promising every effort in setting up an archaeology department at the University, Welukar said, “The progress made in Archaeological studies by the use of scientific methods is quite amazing.”

“We are trying to create awareness and interest for Archaeology among every section of society, and particularly among students,” said Mugdha Karnik, Director, CEMS. “This will now be an annual feature at CEMS and we appeal to all like minded individuals and institutions to join hands with us in this effort.”

Visitors to the Archaeology Day celebrations were particularly excited with the opportunity given to dig, under the supervision of expert archaeologists,  in a mock trench created at the venue. Other activities that drew large crowds were live demos of pottery making and stone tool making, exhibition of fossils, a KBC-style quiz for school-kids, the writing of names in Modi, Kharoshthi  and Brahmi by students of epigraphy, and a film on Chandore where CEMS has been conducting excavations for the past two years under the directorship of Dr Kurush F Dalal. Cartoons on archaeological themes were also put on display.

“There is so much that’s new and exciting,” said Anjali Inamdar, a visitor. “Such events must be held more frequently and in multiple locations.”

“I enjoyed it very much and learnt a lot. Fantastic effort, congrats to everyone who was involved,” said Rajashree Khalap, another visitor.

INSTUCEN and Sathaye College were collaborators on the event, while the Anjaneri Institute of Numismatics from Nashik, Archaeological Survey of India and the Thane Oriental Research Institute also put up stalls and exhibits.

Shubha Khandekar is an author, journalist, translator, editor and cartoonist and writes on a wide range of topics in English and Marathi. 

 

Categories
Guest writer

The autowallah knows my caste!

An autowallah selects those he deals with, passengers included, based on their ‘upper’ caste – even his wife’s a Brahmin.
by Nidhi Qazi

After taking a look at the long queue of passengers waiting for an autorickshaw outside Ghatkopar station, I set out to find my own autowallah. After a few misses, I finally come across a smiling bespectacled man – an autorickshaw driver. Seeing him ignore a few other passengers relieves the hurried soul in me, because I have to rush to college ASAP. I dash into his vehicle and thank him for waiting for me. Here begins a 20-minute long conversation till I reach the destination.

Me: Thank you, bhaiyya.

He: Thank you for what, madam? I had to wait for you. You see I couldn’t just let any lower caste people enter my rickshaw.

Me: But how do you know they were lower caste?

He (chuckles): What are you saying, madam? I am in this auto business for quite some time now, I am wise enough to know who is who.

Me: So according to you, which caste do you think I am from?

He: You could be a Gujarati Brahmin.

Me: No, wrong. I am not a Gujarati Brahmin.

He: Whatever you may be, you surely are not a lower caste person.

Me: Which caste do you belong to?

He: I am a Roman Catholic married to a Maharashtrian Brahmin.

Me: Why this aversion towards the ‘lower’ castes?

He (laughs): What madam, what a silly question to ask! Don’t you know how dirty these people are? They eat all sorts of meat, don’t take bath properly. How can I let them enter my autorickshaw? Moreover, they are nothing but a panauti (inauspicious). I don’t let them on board or else my entire day goes bad.

Me: Who told you these things?

He: Even though I am a 60-year old father of a girl, I have been listening to what my parents have to say. They have seen life, met people. It is their education and values that I abide by. What in life can one achieve if he doesn’t pay heed to their parents’ given ideals and principles?

Me: Yes right, bhaiyya. But here when we are talking about human beings, aren’t all of us the same?

He: Madam, let me ask you something. Are you working or studying?

Me: I have done my graduation and am studying further.

He: Okay, so tell me what’s a pig’s purpose of existence?

Me: I don’t know.

He: Your education is a waste if you don’t know the answer to this. A pig is born to clean the shit of this world. Similarly, everyone including humans have a certain purpose of their existence.

Me: That doesn’t really answer my question, does it?

He: Leave it, madam. You are immature to understand all of this.

Me: How come you got married to a non-Catholic?

He: She’s a Brahmin and that suits me well as we were also Hindu Brahmins before conversion .

Me: You are a convert? But why?

He: That again is what my parents had in store for us. Don’t really know why we converted but it is good.

Me: What is good?

He: That we are Catholics. You see, madam, we are one of the best religions. I don’t really like the other religions. They have so many negatives. Leave it, let’s not get started now.

Finally, the journey comes to an end and so does the lecture on caste and religion.

Nidhi Qazi is a student at Tata Institute of Social Sciences. She writes because it gives vent to her ideas and helps her explore and experience people.

(Picture courtesy thecityfix.com. Picture used for representational purpose only)

Categories
Big story

Bal Thackeray makeshift memorial still stands

Shiv Sena warns against State and BMC decision to remove the memorial from Shivaji Park; several Sainiks ‘guarding’ the site.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

It seems that the time for the removal of the makeshift Bal Thackeray memorial at Shivaji Park is drawing close. The Park is witnessing heavy police presence, and the numbers of Shiv Sainiks pouring in to ‘guard’ the memorial from demolition are also on the rise. Reports say that a few BMC vehicles used in razing structures were damaged at the BMC’s Worli garage, after a rumour spread that a demolition squad was arriving at Shivaji Park soon.

Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray passed away last month. After his demise, a tussle between the Shiv Sena and the State, followed by the Shiv Sena and other parties, including the MNS, started over, of all things, a memorial to the late leader.

A makeshift memorial was erected at Shivaji Park for Thackeray’s followers to pay respects to him before he was cremated at the Park itself. The State had given permission for the memorial on the understanding that the Shiv Sena would have it removed just days after it had served its purpose.

However, the days passed by and the Sena made no move to remove the memorial. Senior Sena leaders such as party spokesperson and Rajya Sabha MP Sanjay Raut expressed the opinion that the memorial be allowed to stay, in fact, a permanent memorial to Thackeray be built at the spotThe State then gave Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) chief Sitaram Kunte orders to have the memorial removed. That only riled the Sena more – the party threatened that if the memorial was touched, there would be a law and order problem in the city.

The Sena-led BMC has also decided to pass a resolution to rename Shivaji Park as ‘Shivtirth’ in memory of Thackeray. However, the State will have the final say in this matter. Chief Minister Prithviraj Chavan is not amused by the Sena’s antics, and has declared that “nobody can take the law in their hands” in the matter.

(Picture courtesy ibnlive.com)

 

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